Thankful

Today I am thankful.

Thankful for...

A budget that allows my entire family to eat healthy, nutritious food every single day.

A job that allows me to work from home, while spending significant, quality time with my children.

A house that is toasty warm even when it is -19C outside.

A God who loves me even when I'm pretty unlovable.

The money to pay for my utilities every month, no matter how much we use.

Two sons who actually like each other (I think...).

A treadmill in the basement.

A TV in my bedroom and my living room.

An educational base that has allowed me to switch careers and begin to flourish.

Books.

Friends that are patient with my hectic schedule.

Moms that babysit.

A beautiful cat that snuggles up with us every night.

Words.

A husband that still likes me after all these years together.

Free healthcare.

At least one kid that loves to act like a goofball, just like his mom. (and one kid that remains confused by selfies on the computer)

What are you thankful for today?

Facebook: Is It Time To Quit

My friend Sarah quit Facebook.

She writes on her blog about the freedom of not knowing so much. Not having too much information. Reclaiming her life.

And I'm tempted to follow suit...but...

Facebook has brought some amazing things into my life. I've reconnected with friends that I had lost touch with after moving from Saskatchewan to Toronto. I have shared mothering advice with my former party friends and virtually prayed with a friend facing an uphill battle. I have been offered jobs, "virtually" attended weddings and births (seeing pictures makes it seem like you were there, right?) and had the chance to right some wrongs with people that I never would have connected with without Facebook.

Yes, in many ways Facebook has been great and enriched my life.

But, sometimes it has been awful.

I know I'm not just speaking for myself when I say that I detest knowing every.single.time. I am left out of something...because I have had friends tell me stories about:

Finding out that the two couples you were once closest to still hang out all time...but never ask you to join in (you're always busy with your kids). 

Knowing that a friend had time to visit someone 20 minutes from your house but never even bothered to contact you. 

Consoling a friend who realizes her best friend has a fiancee that she didn't even know about.  

Seeing people repost and support virtual stranger's artistic endeavours when they couldn't even tell you the title of one your published stories. (ok, that's about me...lol)

Reading 'super mom' posts about amazing and enriching days with a houseful of kids, while your kids are sitting, unwashed, on the couch eating soda crackers and watching hours of Toopy and Binoo just so you can guzzle a coffee and sneak in a shower. (guilty here too)

And so here I sit on the fence. Sure, you take the good/you take the bad. Sure, you would have found out anyway that certain new friendships were blossoming while old friendships are fading. Sure, you can't always be important to everyone. And yet, we all are relegated, at one time or another, to feeling like complete and utter crap because of Facebook. Admit it. 

And so I'm left to wonder, is maintaining a few 'virtual' friendships and connections worth it all?

Is Facebook really that central to my life that the thought of deactivating my profile for even a month causes me panic?

Are self-portaits and potty training woes more important to me than my peace of mind?

Working Out at Home (for cheap or FREE!)

A friend asked me how I've managed to spend the past year losing 30 pounds (yes, as of today, I have lost 30 pounds!) of baby weight without going to the gym.
For me, the key has been working out at home. I used to love group fitness classes, but my schedule (and wallet) no longer allows for that. AND YES, I know you have to take time for yourself, blahblahblah, but I don't even have a spare second to get my eyebrows waxed, let alone make it to the gym. If anyone understands how busy you are, it's me. I promise.
In an effort to still workout but not go broke doing it, my husband and I set up a home gym. We purchased a quality treadmill last year (GREAT SALE! and an investment that has already proved to be less expensive than two gym memberships), picked up a weight bench and all the barbells/hand weights (for free!!- we just had to pick it up) and we have the internet:)

I run *jog* about 3 times a week. The other days I use online workout videos (free!), and I'm going to share my favs with you!

Tone It Up Arms:



Brooke Burke's Butt Workout



Tone It Up Thighs



MaliBooty



Jillian Michaels Banish Fat



I generally combine a few of the shorter workouts OR, if I have the time (usually on a weekend) I do an entire Jillian Michaels workout- there are a ton of them online!

Happy working out!

2013 Goals

Looking back on my 2012 Resolutions and seeing how far I have come, I am so excited to embark on 2013.

As any mom of two (or more) kids will contest, having your youngest child turn 18 months old is AMAZING. I feel like we're finally hitting the sweet spot in parenting- the boys are starting to be able to play together, Zach is becoming a fantastic helper, Will is talking constantly (EAT is currently his favourite word) and taking an active interest in everything his older brother is doing.

This year, I am looking forward to going further, striving harder and being better.

1) Become a Better Partner- In 2012 (well, honestly, for the past 3.5 years) I have focused on my boys. They have been my entire life. I think it's important for 2013 to be the year that I focus on my husband. He's taken a backseat in life for quite a few years and he deserves to have attention too. I have promised to work a little less (especially at night), hang out a little more (we both love TV, honestly, so this won't be too hard!), and plan "date nights" (I HATE that term, but we are so rarely alone that this is very important to my end goal of being a better partner).

2) Get Back to a Size 4- I am currently a size 6...which is awesome and totally looks fine. BUT... I was generally a size 4 pre-pregnancy and would love to get back there. Simply because I'm nosey and would want this info from any of you, I weighed 172 lbs in March 2012 (wearing a size 10/12) and currently weigh 145 lbs (as of December 2012). In total I lost 27 pounds in 2012. Whoop! I *think* I can lose another 10 pounds (or so) in 2013, for a final weight of 135 lbs. To do this, I am resolving to have a focused plan of working out a minimum of three times a week (a combo of running on my trusty treadmill and Tone It Up/P90 workouts) AND eat lean, clean and green, with very limited amounts of sugar and "bad" carbs. I'm also going to really focus on (potentially) running a honest-to-goodness 5K.

Before...

After (at a size 6)

3) Allow Myself to Feel Truly Happy- I stuff my feelings deep down inside on a pretty regular basis. Despite the fact that most people think I'm an 'open book', I'm actually very closed and rarely share my real and true feelings, especially when I am upset and hurt. I think that years of hiding my true feelings has limited my ability to be seriously and out-of-control happy. This year, I am going to just let myself feel what I freaking feel- no matter how much I want to hide those emotions. I doubt that I will become an open book of emotion, calling out everyone and anyone who crosses my path, but instead I want to focus on not allowing hurt feelings/sadness/anger become the focus of my life and push out the amazing happiness that I have in my life every day.

4) Transition Our Household to a (Mostly) Chemical-Free Environment- I am resolving to use natural/chemical free cleaning products in our home. I realized that I focus so much on my kids eating healthy, natural food and getting substantial exercise on a daily basis; meanwhile, I am filling my home with chemicals every single day with the cleaning products I use. I am planning to make my own products (vinegar and water, baking soda paste, etc.) whenever possible and purchase only chemical-free cleaning products when totally necessary.

5) Love My Boys to Bits- I had to throw in an easy one:)

These kids:

so, so, so easy to love.

2012 Resolutions: How Did I Do?

In 2012, I resolved to make 2012 the year I GO FOR IT.

So, how did I do?

1. I will be present and active with my kids- I think I'm doing better at this one. I am a work at home mom...who happens to have her kids at home with her every day (with the exception of preschool/babysitter 3 mornings a week). The balance is HARD...but I'm trying to work it out. A constant work in progress, I think.
2. I will run a 5K- I did it. Well, I did it on my treadmill in the basement:) I ran a 5K in 37 minutes, which is brutal I'm sure. But I DID IT! I am still not sure if I will run a real 5K but I'm happy that I forced myself to actually train and complete a long run. The effort it took this non-athletic girl to run a 5K should not go unnoticed:)
3. I will write and submit my writing- Done! I write short stories. I submitted two stories in 2012 for publication. One was published in an anthology (WHOOP!). The other is being "considered" by a major literary magazine. 
4. I will learn to forgive- Work in progress. I am still cold toward those I feel have truly wronged me. I still have trouble acting in a loving manner toward those who have (in my opinion) hurt me. 
5. I will put myself out there- I think I have done decently on this one. I showed pictures of my weight loss (chunky Sarah, out there for all to see!). I quit my stable teaching job and started a whole new career as an Editor. I submitted my writing (which I rarely show to others). There were times I hung back when I should have put myself out there. There are times I got too nervous and didn't say what I truly wanted to say. But overall, I forced myself to be vulnerable and real and it often payed off in spades.

I had a great 2012. My sons are the joy of my life and are growing into beautiful kids- inside and out. I dedicated time to myself and feel healthier than I have in years. I have looked for the good when I normally would wallow in the bad. I realized a dream of being a published writer (over and over and over). I have written on my blog when it mattered to me...and produced some posts that really truly resonated with strangers the world over.

So, cheers to 2013. The year when I will MAKE IT HAPPEN.