This weekend I was transported back to high school. To mean girls. The girls who went out of their way to make you feel like you were less than, unimportant, unworthy, or just didn't belong.
I can only remember one real mean girl in high school. But, man, she was mean. Bent on discluding me at every turn and making me feel like I didn't belong. Sadly, she was part of my group of friends. Sadly, I never stood up to her or really said anything about her mean girl attitude. Even when she started a petition to get me kicked off the school president ballot (oh, yes she did). Even when she spread completely false rumours about me throughout the school. Even when she went out of her way to have parties and invite everyone but me. Yep, she was a mean girl but thankfully she has been my only real example of a mean girl to date.
But this weekend, I was taken back to that time. I discovered that someone I had considered a friend was going out of her way to make sure I wasn't included and felt like I didn't belong. Inviting friends over but not me. Whispering (yes, are we 12?) behind my back but just loud enough so I could deduce what was being said. And my first reaction was to do exactly what I did in high school- ignore. Pretend it wasn't happening and that I was completely ok. That I didn't even notice her barbs and exclusion.
My second reaction was to blog it. Heh.
When I was in high school, no matter how much my 'mean girl' hurt me, I always had the knowledge that this wasn't it for me. That I would be moving on to bigger and better things and be able to leave that mean girl behind. And I did.
This new mean girl, however, cannot be dropped quite so quickly and easily. I'm not moving any time soon. I'm not dropping my friend group. I'm not leaving behind the amazing life I have cultivated for the past 10 years. So this mean girl and I look to be intertwined for quite some time.
So now I am left at a crossroads- do I confront the mean girl and risk alienating and making the situation worse then it has to be or do I just leave it and hope it works itself out? How quickly 16 year old Sarah can return
But it does beg the question... do women ever really leave highschool? Do they ever get over that need to be catty and cruel and exclude others to make themselves feel more important? Do we ever really 'grow up'?