The Red-Headed Litigator

I am convinced that Z will become a lawyer when he grows up. Or a union boss. I cannot think of a career that would suit his personality more. The personality that has been driving me up.the.wall.

From the moment Z was born, he had a strong personality. Even the nurses in the hospital said something to the effect of "good luck" as my tiny red-head screamed so loudly and for so long that everyone gave up trying to calm him down. He wants what he wants, when he wants it, right now. NOW. DON'T MAKE ME WAIT OR YOU WILL SUFFER MY WRATH.

This, my friends, has caused head-butting to reach an all time high at my house. He, the red-headed litigator, does not accept substitutes or redirection or alternatives. He does not respond to time-outs (unless they are long and in his room. alone.) or threats or the disposal of toys/games/books. He will not budge.

The biggest sticking points recently have been milk. And diaper changes. And any food I place in front of him. And tv. He will stand his ground until he breaks you down. There is no stopping this kid.

Let me give you an example.
He wants milk to drink- not water, not juice. Milk. MIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLKKKKKKK. And should you dare to place water in front of him he will throw and kick and scream and cry and attempt the most SuperNanny fit you have seen outside of tv. And, if you're his mom, you will ignore him. Which will make our little litigator more angry. And then he will try to bargain and debate and cajole and convince. And, if you're his mom, you will ignore and stand your ground. Which will make the red-headed wonder whine and whine and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask. He'll go for hours. He doesn't need a break. He doesn't care if he's annoying. He wants milk and he will get it. And, if you're his mother, (who has stood strong for nearly 4 hours at this point- 4 relentless hours) you will give in at some point because he might have all day to fight with you, but you don't have the same luxury of time. And that fireball will sit, smugly, and sip his milk and kiss his cup like he has never tasted anything more beautiful in his life. And he will say something like, "see, that wasn't hard, was it mommy?". And you will cringe, knowing that he  has won yet another case.

Here he is, angry at me for trying to take his picture with my phone. Of course.

I will fully admit that I get tired of fighting and arguing and debating. I get tired of convincing him that he is not the boss. I get tired of standing my ground. This parenting thing is not for the faint of heart, believe me. I keep reminding myself how important it is for him to hear the words NO and for them to have some traction. For there not to be emptiness in my threats. But I am fully convinced that he is completely unable to hear the word NO. Thereby making all my "ground standing" fruitless.

So, my little Solicitor and I will continue to battle it out in the court of 2.5 year old logic. And I will remind myself that all this arguing will only help him to become the most kick-butt lawyer that Canada has ever seen.

Live Blogging: The Grammys

I'm watching The Grammy's and live blogging my reactions (with no times attached because, well, that's just way too much work).

LL Cool J irritates me every time he licks his lips. Which he does way too much. However, he's incredibly good looking so I forgive him.
The prayer kinda surprised me.  But I thought it was beautiful and real and good on ya, LL.


Hey Bruno. I find you bizarre to look at. But I think you perform like few on the scene right now. LOVED this performance, even if my husband talked through the whole thing.


Urg. My mom just called. It's ok. It's just Bonnie Rait and Alicia Keys (with a very Bruno Mars-esque pompadour). I heard nothing...too busy yelling at my mom. Was it any good?


Hey, Adele won Best Pop Song! My husband says she'll win 5 out of 6 tonight. I adore her speaking voice. It's like velvety butter. She should do books on tape or something, don't you think?


Licky-lips is back, introducing the next performer. I CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT stand behind this rejoicing that Chris Brown is back to his former star status. What he did was despicable. He received little more than a smack on the wrist for treating a woman in a manner that is beyond reprehensible and now is again praised and lauded. I see the way young girls look up to him and it scares me that we can so openly applaud someone who has never had to answer for his actions against women. (phew. rant much?)


I'm sorry. I love that Fergie dress!!!! HOLY MOLY! HOWEVER, you have heard it here first- that dress screams, I'm getting a divorce. Trust me!!!


Hey Reba! Oh, I lived in Saskatchewan for my entire youth and I know almost every word to every Reba song. Do you remember her show? Aptly named, Reba... Well, once my mom was told that she looks and sounds just like Norma Jean (you know, the ditzy jerk of a woman who stole Reba's husband). She's going to hate me forever for writing that but I can't see Reba (the woman or the show) without thinking of that (and how horrified, rightfully so, my mom was. Because my mom is beautiful and not a ditzy jerk of a woman).


I ADORE me some Kelly Clarkson. "Don't you want stay here a little while..." FYI- The answer, ladies, is NO. I don't want to stay.    But I still like this song (although what they're doing here at the end is weird. Did they forget they were performing?).


TIME FOR SOME FOOOOOOO!!!! (foo fighters, that is).


Baby woke up and needed food. Sheesh, this parenthood thing getting in the way of my live blogging.

I'm back for RiRi and Coldplay. Am I the only one that detests the blonde hair on RiRi? I LOVED her when she was starting out- so beautiful and so talented. She just gives off this vibe that she's trying so hard to be something that I don't think she is. Coldplay is one of my favourite bands. I cry every time I see them perform live. There's something about Chris Martin's voice. (FYI- that's also the name of my Brother in Law...weird right? But my BIL's voice doesn't make me cry...usually). The Scientist is most likely my favourite song ever.


Hopefully this didn't happen during the time I was feeding W, but I will be surprised if I don't see Beyonce doing some sort of tribute to Whitney. I mean, really, I can't think of who I'd rather see (except Celine Dion - ok, feel free to hate on me) singing Whitney songs than the big Beyonce. Is it too soon after Baby Blue's birth for her to sing, I wonder?

Who is this woman with the dark hair presenting with these two "players"? She has man hands!!!!!!!!


Do you really classify Mumford & Sons as ROCK? The Decemberists as ROCK? Oh well, doesn't matter....THE FOO won best Rock album anyway:)
OH FOO!!!!! You're the best. I love everything you say! I love that you just kept talking even though the KING (aka Ryan Secrest) was in the wings and waiting to get on the stage.


OK, a Beach Boys celebration. YAWN. This better include John Stamos at some point or it is totally not worth it. Anyone else totally not get the Adam Levine appeal? I don't get it one bit.
I'm off to get a snack. So not for me....Beach Boys are old. (sorry, they are)


So, David Guetta is coming up. Back in the day, when I was 19/20, he DJed at a rave I was at (yes, I said rave). Nope, not lying. There was maybe...300 people there, max. Now he's playing The Grammys. Life is weird. 


Stevie Wonder- him, I will always love. I do not understand why I know the words to so many of his songs. None of them are from my era. He's introducing Paul McCartney. Another face that frightens me, I have today. His new girlfriend (wife? fiancé?) is so pretty. Sir Paul is kinda singing/talking. Reminds me a bit of Lenord Cohen (but more British, less gravely).


EW, Chris Brown. Do up your shirt. He won. I'm not going to comment any further except to say that HE DOES NOT DESERVE A STANDING OVATION.


I LOVE THE CIVIL WARS (they deserve a standing O!). And now we're on to Tay-Tay (Taylor Swift). She's fab. I love this song...Why You Gotta Be So Mean? Gosh, the people I could sing this to.  I'm not going to comment on her clothes. Or the fact that I watched Valentine's Day (the movie) today and she was awful in it. Just am not gonna go there.
Awe. She got a standing O. That was sweet. 


Another Adele win!


Katy Perry was just introduced by Kate Beckinsale who is my idea of perfection. Listen now, I don't mind Katy Perry but I got this distinct feeling that she was trying to make this her "PINK" moment (do you remember that? When Pink did that amazing, soaking wet, Cirque-esque performance??) and it just didn't reach that level for me. She was trying to get there but it just didn't make it. Maybe it worked for other people better than it did for me...


Random question- is Blake Shelton really tall? Because every time he stands beside someone he towers over them. Also, do other people find him cute? I find him charming...but not cute. Two very distinct entities if you ask me...


Gwenyth Paltrow is introducing Adele. Oh my goodness. I love Gwen:) She's amazing and I don't care what you say. I'm going to stop typing until this performance is done.... Ok, I just cried a bit. She was amazing. Really, truly amazing. And just freaking NATURAL up there. Nothing fancy, nothing staged, nothing about her trying too hard. Just normal and natural and amazingly talented. This may be the (seriously infected) sinus drugs talking but I am digging these Grammy's.


Tribute to Glenn Campbell is up. The lead singer of Band Perry looks just like KATE GOSSLIN. Google it- I swear to you. Listen, I don't really know much about who Glen Campbell is (shoot me- sorry!) so I can't say I watched much of this part. My sister let me know that Blake Shelton is "A BEAST OF A MAN" so I guess that helps to ease my concerns that everyone at the Grammy's is actually a midget.


Off to make bottles and clean my kitchen...


Bon Iver. Best New Artist. Meh. I think it's super popular to say things like "I loved Bon Iver WAY before they won at the Grammy's" but I have to be honest and say that I could care less about Bon Iver's music. But, you know, I know every word to every Britney Spears song, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.


Time for the look back at those we lost this year. Without fail, I always say...they died THIS year?


Jennifer Hudson begins the Whitney tribute. OK, it's not Beyonce but she does have a beautiful voice that can carry off  "I Will Always Love You". You know, "The Bodyguard Soundtrack" is the first CD I remember owning (um, maybe after DC Talk- go ahead and google that). I sat in my room and sang this song over and over and over and over. J Hud did a beautiful job. I will not say a word about how she looked. 


**BREAKING NEWS: According to Twitter, Lil Wayne was arrested backstage at the Grammy's on gun charges. We'll see how much life/traction this story has...**


We don't need MORE Chris Brown.  But he's here again, with my aforementioned friend David Guetta. Some tribute to what I like to call "Dance-lite".  The audience has huge puffy glow sticks which resemble nothing that we ever had at real raves. You know, back in the day. When I went to three raves wearing MASSIVE pants and teeny tank tops.  


*LIL WAYNE was just on stage. So he was either pre taped or didn't get arrested...*


It's Foo with Deadmau5. I don't get Deadmau5. There, I said it.


The number of times they have told me that I won't be able to stop talking about this Nicki Minaj performance...it better be FREAKING GOOD!


I feel like they packed some really amazing stuff into the beginning of these Grammy's but it's kinda waining a bit...oh wait...its DRAKE! He's only on my radio about every 5 seconds (thanks CanCon). Finally we're getting around to introducing the AMAZING performance from Nicki Minaj that they've been promising us. So far. Yawn. She's jamming a play to be the next horror movie star/provocative performer. You know, mixing sex and religion is so overplayed and overdone and unappealing. For someone as "smart" as Nicki I would expect something much better. The idea of mocking religion for your own gain is so unappealing to my sensibilities.


FINALLY, lickity-lips is back. Man, if there was a drinking game to do with his lip licking skills it wouldn't have been that fun...for the "host" he hasn't been on the show very often.


They're just about to name Record of the YEAR....well, it's Adele. No surprise. She owns the Grammy's this year.


The Grammy's are almost over- all in all I've enjoyed the show. Some really talented performers, some that I just don't get, some that were pathetic and need to stop trying so freaking hard (HI THERE NICKI). Lickity- lips (LL COOL J) was a non-existent host. Adele owned the show. Drake looked hot. Lil Wayne may have been arrested. The Whitney tribute was kinda non-existent, people are so hot over Deadmau5 and I don't get it at all. Foo Fighters are amazing. Lady Gaga wore a net over her face the ENTIRE SHOW (that's dedication people). Some great moments and some moments that I could have done without.  Ah well, can't please all people all the time.


Adele wins Record of the Year. She's blubbering and adorable. I'm heading to bed. 

I'll be back soon...

My beautiful blog- I have been ignoring you. Wading through 8 weeks of sickness in this household, late nights working and writing, and general goings-on, I haven't been able to carve out much blogging time. Perhaps soon?

Sunday Sanity Saving Tip

just get on the treadmill

We bought a treadmill. A really deluxe treadmill that you might see at a gym (well, ok, it's not THAT deluxe but it's decently close). Our schedules are just too tight and there has been no time for either of us to work out- and let's face it, we both need it. We're not getting any younger and, for me at least, I have always had to work 10 million times harder than the average person to stay on the thinner side.

So, we bought a treadmill online because the sale was amazing. And then it arrived. They dropped it in my driveway- all 300 pounds of it. In a snowstorm. And left it for hubs and I to somehow (and I'm still not sure how) drag it into our house.

We did it, though. So determined are we to get back into the shape we once were in. But get it into our basement...not a chance. So now we have a treadmill, in our dining room. Aesthetically, it's awful but, you know what? It's working for us. Yes, it's shiny and new and exciting but we love working out on it and the location keeps it top of mind, a beacon calling out to me...reminding me it's there and needs to be used.

And, while my first run post-pregnancy (my 2008 pregnancy, that is!) was kinda torturous, I'm slightly excited to run when I wake up in the morning. So my Sunday Sanity Saving Tip = just get on the treadmill (or eliptical, or bike, or whatever). 

It's Your 7 Month Birthday

Hey Will- today you're 7 months old. I can't even begin to tell you how unbelievable this is to me. I'm not even sure where the time has gone and how you managed to get so big without me realizing it.
In many ways, you are still my little baby. Sure, you sit on your own and 'talk' (in the cutest gibberish known to man) incessantly. You have obvious likes (food) and dislikes (sleeping on your belly) but you still seem to really need your mommy and, for that, I'm thankful.
You know, you're likely my last baby and I don't mind holding on to some of your baby characteristics for just a bit longer. Your brother grew up ridiculously fast and was determined to never be a baby. I'm happy to have a baby who is really a baby!
So, Tank (yup, you're a big kid!), as you enjoy your Mum-mum and Gerber stars, oat cereal and squash, and your brother's Handy Manny tool set on your seven month birthday, please know how much you mean to me. How I can not imagine my life without you in it. How your doe-eyes, with the insanely long eyelashes, staring up at me every morning, still make my heart jump. How that muppet face you make when you've fallen asleep while drinking your bottle makes every middle of the night wakeup (almost) worth it. Every time your brother asks, "Mom, I like Will, can we keep him?" I am so happy that you'll grow up with Z as your big brother, because I know he's going to take really good care of you and you'll be best friends.
You've lit up our lives in a way I could never imagine. People told me I'd find a way to love and adore my second child but now I realize what they meant. You, Will, are a treasure to me and I am so glad to be your mom.

Resolutions 2012

I've had this written since January 1. I'm not sure why I never got around to posting it. Perhaps laziness the fear of failure? (it was laziness, but I'm sure I have some subconscious fear in there that can explain it, right?)


It's 2012. The theme of my resolutions this year will be GO FOR IT.


Seeing as I have spent the last few years either pregnant or trying to lose pregnancy weight, I'm excited to be able to put a few goals out there that may actually be achievable. When I'm teaching a class, I always try to encourage my students to be fearless- to go for it. What's the worst that can happen, I tell them. So what if you don't get it right the first time or fail to be the best- it's the trying that matters. It's the putting yourself out there and working toward a goal that people respect and admire. It's the setting of goals and the real drive to meet them that allow you to win in the long run. and I do believe that.  But I so rarely follow that sage advice.

I'll be totally honest. Most things in my life have come easily to me. Despite some curveballs (hello, three years to get into Teacher's College), I have worked hard and achieved in life. In my pre-children days, I was good at school, good at my job, I had the discipline necessary to stay on the thin(ner) side, I had good friends and was decently well-liked. When I went after something I was able to grasp it without excessive effort. But, somewhere along the way (perhaps May 2, 2009) I lost that. Not that my life isn't great- it is. Not that I've stopped working hard and achieving- I still am. But somewhere along the way I lost the real drive that I had in my early 20s; the drive that was the real reason that things came easily to me.

Why do I tell you this? Well, I feel like I've lost that go for it  attitude that I worked so hard to instil in my students. I kinda let go in a haze of sleeplessness and constant need for attention by my two wee ones (which I don't begrudge one bit- this period will only last for so long). So, 2012 will be the year I get my go for it back and really put work into the things I love.

1. I will be present and active with my kids- I don't think I'm bad at this, but I think I could be better, I don't want my kids to remember their mom peering at them over the laptop screen, yelling at them to just give me 5 minutes of quiet.  I want to endeavour to be a mom who is teaching and learning, with my kids.
2. I will run a 5K- I have said I will run a 5K since I was 20. That's a long time. I'm not a good/fast/dedicated runner, but I'm going to sign up for a 5K and, even if I come in dead last (which is a distinct possibility) I will FINISH!
3. I will write and submit my writing- My written words aren't for everyone and not everything I write will be lauded with praise, but I know that I do have some talent for telling stories and I'm going to honour that talent this year. You know, one of my biggest regrets is not going to school for something more writing related. I love being a teacher, but I love writing even more and I wish I had really explored my writing-related career options more thoroughly.
4. I will learn to forgive- Ephesians 4:32- Be kind and compassionate to each other, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you. I have struggled with forgiveness for a long time. When I feel I have been wronged, I become cold and dismissive. It's an ugly quality that I need to do some serious work on. 
5. I will put myself out there- I know this seems vague, but maybe that's because I don't even have a fully formed idea of how I will put myself out there this year. But I will. I will take chances that I am normally too afraid to take. I will allow myself to feel insecure and nervous and disappointed and elated- but I will put myself out there regardless. I will be ready for opportunities that come my way and figure out a way to make them work. I will ask when I normally would shy away and I will agree when I normally would say no.

And I'll hold myself accountable to these resolutions- maybe with some bloggy updates occasionally...

Mid Week Confessions

Time for my weekly soul-cleansing care of emyselfandi.com...

• My sister once compared my mothering skills to Tori Spelling, and I thought that was a HUGE compliment. Really. I really think she's a fabulous mom.
• Z watches more TV then I would ever care to tell you about. I mean, I read other blogs where people write "...my kid knows that they're only allowed to watch ONE HALF HOUR SHOW a day..." and I think- crap, I would lose my mind on my kid if it wasn't for tv. He's 2.5 years old and into EVERYTHING. I need the break of that electronic babysitter.
• When W was three months old, I decided to do Body by Vi. I WAS STARVING. But I lost 12 pounds in one month. Then, Christmas time hit and I stopped and (gulp) I gained it all back. Every pound. I'm so disappointed in myself.
• I am pretty happy to let my sister pick out my clothes for me. Someone tweeted that they'd rather just sleep in their clothes for the next day and I thought good idea! I'm too tired to care about what I look like.
• HOWEVER, I have massive roots right now and am officially no longer naturally blonde. I'm naturally brunette. Too bad I look a million times better as a blonde. Expensive upkeep.
• I love public speaking. I used to do so much of it- from small groups to large auditoriums. In high school I toured as a speaker with SADD (Students Against Drinking and Driving) and in university I did a few speaking engagements for them as well. My love of public speaking is probably why I got into teaching- but I really do miss those motivational/informational talks...
• I still have to post my resolution post. It's all written. But, because it has taken me so long to post it, I've pretty much ruined the chances of upholding my main resolution. Sigh.