Tonight, Z was unable or unwilling to go to sleep. Well, he fell asleep and then he heard me leave the room and stood up and jumped around in his bouncy trampoline (crib=bouncy trampoline).
This has become an ever-growing problem because he has gone (as I have mention again and again and again) from sleeping pretty well through the night to sleeping 3-4 hours at a time and WAKING UP (and I mean it- WAKING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like, MOMMY I AM AWAKE AND I AM BOUNCING ON MY TRAMPOLINE AND NEED YOU TO COME HERRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!).
It started when he was about 7 1/2 months old and he hit some type of growth spurt and needed extra bottles during the night. However, I'm pretty sure he doesn't need much food in the middle of the night anymore (he kinda just sips the bottle) and he's resisting all sleep with all his might. The payoff he gets from waking up in the middle of the night (or not going to sleep when he's tired and it's bedtime) is that I take him out of the room. Ick - I know! Why do I do that?? Why did I start that?? It just kinda happened but I can tell how much he enjoys it.
So, tonight, as the door creaked when I left his room and awoke Z and encouraged him to stand up and bounce and call for me, I had to do the one thing I never wanted to do- let him kinda cry. Because I really am out of ideas on how to encourage him fall asleep- because he is definetly definetly tired.
I hate the idea of crying it out. HATE IT! However, this battle of wills between Z and I has gone on for a really long time (like, 8 1/2 months) and I am starting to see the glimmer of understanding in his eyes. I do not think he's manipulating me- I don't think he's bad- I don't think he's a sneak. I just think he needs help going to sleep and the rocking and shussshhhhhing (which only kinda worked thus far) aren't cutting it anymore.
Luckily, hubs was home and he dealt with the tears- I think it only lasted about 10 minutes in total and he didn't get hysterical (which is what has happened in the past when I've let him cry for even the slightest amount of time). I cried the whole time too. And I don't expect it will solve our sleep problems, but I hope it helps him learn that when he's put down to bed, it means bed time. Because I'm pretty sure it hurt me way more then it hurt him and I don't know if I can handle another day of it:(
And, for the record, lest anyone think I'm an awful cry-it-out mommy, hubs went into Z's room ever 2 or 3 minutes to give him a kiss and tell him that we love him and lay him back down.
So, there you go. That's been my night. I am hoping and praying that he still loves me tonight when he wakes up and needs his bottle.
I guarantee you that Z will still love you when he wakes up!
ReplyDeleteGood on you for recognizing the pattern and then administring tough love. he won't remember any of this, but will know he has an awesome mommy who just happens to want to play with him when the sun is up. pretty understandable! good luck tonight
ReplyDeleteawe- thanks you guys! I'll still feel teary about letting him cry- it broke my heart!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this feeling. Brendan didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly a year old... because I kept getting up to give him bottles at night. At 6 months I asked the pediatrician when he would sleep through the night and she was amazed he wasn't but then told me that no wonder he was waking still if I kept going in to him to feed him and that at his size he didn't need night feedings and could go a whole 8 hours without. It took me almost 4 months to break my own habit of getting up and giving him a bottle. We had a few nights of many tears and same 3 minute intervals of soothing but not picking up or feeding and then after a week... no night wakings anymore. I felt that I was able to have a better relationship with him when we weren't both so tired. Now he loves his bedtime routine (12 hours at night - 2 to 3 hours in the afternoon). You are one great mama! He'll still love you for sure and you both will get some much needed rest!
ReplyDeleteWe found that separation anxiety kicked in at around 7 months... and our daughter wouldn't sleep no matter how long we let her cry! She just wanted to be near us!
ReplyDeleteYou're a great momma and Zach knows it!! It is tough to hear them cry, our instinct is to soothe. But you'll both be better for the good night sleeps that I know are just around the bend! And good call to do this with hubby home...a good team effort!!
ReplyDeleteIt's such a tough call! I'll blog more about how it went today but he is not a true "cry it out" kid...he is a "mommy is here but you need to go to sleep" kid. Hm
ReplyDeleteI'm very proud of you (now that I was able to read these couple of blogs about your trials)
ReplyDeleteI truly don't don't think this is what you call "cry it out" I think you are trying to help your little guy learn how to fall asleep on his own. If you don't let him try then when will he learn?
I found out that us new Moms tend to create these bad habits for our child by accident. I did it too - I helped Cameron to fall asleep for months and I had enough (he was just getting way too heavy to walk around and shush and to get him over the rail in his crib without waking him up) It wasn't his fault that he didn't know how to do it on his own... ya know? I think it is the best thing I have done so far to let him cry a bit. And I agree that it was WAYYYY harder on me than it was on him.
Hopefully I'll get it right the next time when I'm way to busy with two kids to rock a baby to sleep!
Just keep it up and don't give up!
Thinking of you...
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