Why Your Child Is A Crappy Sleeper...

I am not a sleep expert. I am, however, a SLEEPLESS expert. I am a mom to two boys who hate sleep. Two boys who barely ever nap, who are restless as they sleep during the night, who wake bright eyed and bushy tailed, regardless of the time they went to bed or how many times they woke up. Kids that will fight you to the death if you dare attempt to 'trick' them into sleep.
According to my extensive research, here are a few reasons why your kids might be a craptastic sleeper:

• their room is too hot
• their room is too cold
• they need a humidifier
• they don't need a humidifier
• they need a lovie (blankie, stuffed animal, etc...)
• they need a paci
• they are hungry
• they are too full
• they are thirsty
• they are wet
• they like a pillow
• they don't like a pillow
• they are teething
• they are having bad dreams
• they aren't tired
• they are overtired
• their room is too light
• their room is too dark
• they are in their terrible twos
• they are in their torturous threes
• they need white noise
• they need complete silence
• they are learning to crawl
• they are learning to stand
• they are learning to walk
• they are potty training
• they enjoy making life miserable for their overindulgent mother who is always scared something is actually wrong when they cry out in the night
• they have a headache
• they have a sore throat
• they have an ear ache
• they have a sick stomach
• they are pretending to have a sick stomach (because sick stomach=action in our house)
• they have a cold
• they might have a tiny bit of a stuffy nose
• they don't like the pjs their daddy made them wear
• they can't find their _______________ (fill in the blank...there are a million things that may be lost at 2 am)
• they just need a little bit of love

So next time you are awoken in the middle of the night, multiple times, by multiple children, reach for my handy comprehensive list of 'reasons why your kids might be a craptastic sleeper' and find the answer that best suits your needs. And, if you have a remedy for any of these reasons, I'd sure love to hear them because sleeping...not a big deal in our house!

A fun post to begin 2012

While all of you are posting your resolutions, I thought I'd talk about something way more fun- sleep training! (hurray!)


I guess I'm not a planner. I mean, the writing is on the wall.
When I was teaching, about 90% of my best lessons were thought of on the fly.  No planning, no prep.
I got a story published in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book that I wrote and submitted moments before the deadline.
I was 5 months pregnant with W when I woke up, said we needed to sell our house, called our real estate agent and had the house on the market and sold within a few weeks.


So it should be no surprise that, last night at around 11p.m. I decided that I would ring in 2012 by sleep training my 6.5 month old.


W was such a good sleeper for the first two months of his life. I mean, so good that I cockily told my mother that "he'll be sleeping through the night by three months". WHYYYYYYYYY? Why would I have ever put that out there? Because, obviously, I breed children who never sleep and want to torture their poor mother by making her an exhausted mess.


When Z was 7.5 months, I was such a hot mess of sleeplessness that my husband insisted that we sleep train him. I was so resistant but, you know, in the end it was 100% worth it. I needed him to sleep and Z needed sleep. So I knew that, if it came to it, I would be ok to sleep train W. And apparently that day arrived on January 1.


W has been waking up every two hours during the night. EVERY TWO HOURS. Those are newborn hours. He is very sleepy throughout the day, has trouble napping, and (even though he's really really really good tempered) it has made him more moody and frustrated than I would like to see for my sweet baby.


If I'd been a good planner, I would have done sleep training the week that my husband was home for Christmas holidays. The week that someone would be around to let me sleep in and nap as necessary. But a planner I am not. So at 11 p.m. I decided that tonight was the night that W was going to sleep.


He awoke at 1:30 a.m.  I lay in bed. 10 minutes later I popped into his room, made him way more angry (apparently I'm not comforting at all), left his room and lay down for another 10 minutes. This went on for almost an hour when, amazingly, he fell asleep. I mean, he had cried for almost that whole hour (waking up his brother twice, which is another reason for the sleep training) but then he fell asleep on his own. And he stayed asleep, on his own. Until 7 a.m. On His Own!


I know a lot of people struggle with the idea of sleep training. I do too. But I also struggle with the idea of babies that are so sleep deprived that they don't know what to do with themselves and their mothers who feel the same. And my baby is being sleep trained because he's ready. He is more than heavy enough to sleep through the night. He is waking up annoyed, not starving or needing me. He's not sick. There are a lot of factors that go into my decision to sleep train my baby. And, yes, there is an element of selfishness in sleep training. I'm tired. I need to sleep. I have two babies who need me and I can't be there for them fully unless I'm getting some sleep. 


So, day 1 of sleep training was a success. I stayed strong. I did it all on my own (I don't even know if my hubby was aware of what was going on) and, although unplanned and unprepared, I think it's going to be a good thing for the entire family.

Crying it out...booooooooooooooooooooo

Tonight, Z was unable or unwilling to go to sleep. Well, he fell asleep and then he heard me leave the room and stood up and jumped around in his bouncy trampoline (crib=bouncy trampoline).

This has become an ever-growing problem because he has gone (as I have mention again and again and again) from sleeping pretty well through the night to sleeping 3-4 hours at a time and WAKING UP (and I mean it- WAKING UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like, MOMMY I AM AWAKE AND I AM BOUNCING ON MY TRAMPOLINE AND NEED YOU TO COME HERRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!).

It started when he was about 7 1/2 months old and he hit some type of growth spurt and needed extra bottles during the night. However, I'm pretty sure he doesn't need much food in the middle of the night anymore (he kinda just sips the bottle) and he's resisting all sleep with all his might. The payoff he gets from waking up in the middle of the night (or not going to sleep when he's tired and it's bedtime) is that I take him out of the room. Ick - I know! Why do I do that?? Why did I start that?? It just kinda happened but I can tell how much he enjoys it.

So, tonight, as the door creaked when I left his room and awoke Z and encouraged him to stand up and bounce and call for me, I had to do the one thing I never wanted to do- let him kinda cry. Because I really am out of ideas on how to encourage him fall asleep- because he is definetly definetly tired.

I hate the idea of crying it out. HATE IT! However, this battle of wills between Z and I has gone on for a really long time (like, 8 1/2 months) and I am starting to see the glimmer of understanding in his eyes. I do not think he's manipulating me- I don't think he's bad- I don't think he's a sneak. I just think he needs help going to sleep and the rocking and shussshhhhhing (which only kinda worked thus far) aren't cutting it anymore.

Luckily, hubs was home and he dealt with the tears- I think it only lasted about 10 minutes in total and he didn't get hysterical (which is what has happened in the past when I've let him cry for even the slightest amount of time). I cried the whole time too. And I don't expect it will solve our sleep problems, but I hope it helps him learn that when he's put down to bed, it means bed time. Because I'm pretty sure it hurt me way more then it hurt him and I don't know if I can handle another day of it:(

And, for the record, lest anyone think I'm an awful cry-it-out mommy, hubs went into Z's room ever 2 or 3 minutes to give him a kiss and tell him that we love him and lay him back down.

So, there you go. That's been my night. I am hoping and praying that he still loves me tonight when he wakes up and needs his bottle.