Setting Small Goals for Great Big Blogging Success!

This is the first post I ever wrote on my blog Sleeping Is For Losers:

Well, I have decided to blog! Even though probably only my mother, maybe my husband, and a few other bored people might read this on a regular basis, I felt that I needed a new creative outlet...and blogging it is!

You see, I'm now a stay at home mom- at least until April 2010. I absolutely love it- but let's face it- my son, Zachary, is only 4 months old. And while he's a bundle of fun and keeps me very busy, I do need some "grown-up" conversation every once in a while. Hence, the blog- a way for me to clear my mind of all the thoughts that are running around in there. Self-indulgent, but necessary!

I had Zachary Christopher on May 2nd, 2009. He is the absolute joy of my life and I could not imagine living without him. I don't even remember what life was about before I had him. He has taught me so much it's hard to really put into words what he means to me. Each day he discovers something new...and teaches me a new lesson about life.

So hopefully I'll have a few people join me as I pass along Zach's life lessons. I really feel like it's his world and he's just letting me live in it and have some fun on the ride.

That was 7 years ago. Back then, I had no idea what blogging was, why I was doing it, or even the slightest inkling of how blogging would impact the trajectory of my life forever!

"Mom blogging" was barely a thing when I began to live my life online. It certainly wasn't a potential income stream - it was truly a place for new moms just like me to vent, share, engage and grow. And I really loved and held on to that...but BOY has mom blogging changed!

Whether you are just considering starting a blog or you have been a blogger for years and years, the time has come that all us mom bloggers need to think about our blogs like a business - a means to assist us in reaching our goals [however you define them].

You may have noticed I took a small time-out on my blog [but I was still updating Facebook so make sure you follow me there too!]

What I needed was time to figure out where I was going with this site. Looking back on the first blog post was so eye-opening for me. 

When you begin blogging, you usually do it because you have a need or want that is not being met. Clearly, mine was a need to reach out to other moms who were feeling lonely, overwhelmed and scared of parenthood. But now that I'm out of the baby stage and don't feel overwhelmed and scared (quite as often), I felt pulled in a million directions trying to figure out WHAT I wanted this blog to be about and HOW I was going to do it.

You see, I know this to be true: If you want your blog to grow and flourish into a site that propels you further than you have ever gone before and becomes a magnet for people who want exactly what you have to offer, you need to be crystal clear about what it is you want to achieve. What are your GOALS? What are you striving to accomplish?

The thing about goals, however, is that setting lofty ones (which are important) can seem overwhelming - at least it was for me. So instead of getting bogged down in the big goals ("making $50,000 per month off my blog" is a lofty goal that I probably couldn't even keep a straight face while I was saying because...come on!) I decided to create small, super actionable goals to work on for about 3 months at a time before evaluating and reassessing.  

And guess what? Once I started focussing on my small goals, things starting lining up and falling into place at a much faster speed. 

The key for me, however, was to WRITE IT DOWN. Like, pen and paper. Ya, I know. But I'm gonna tell you what, nothing kicks your butt more than seeing goals right in front of you that you haven't done any work on yet. And because I know myself, I went one step further and POSTED my goals in a prominent place (my bedroom where I sleep and get ready every day!) so that I was forced and challenged to take action.

And then, the best thing happened. I just started crossing those goals off. One by one. And every three months I would write down some new SMALL (but achievable) goals or include previous goals I hadn't met yet. 

The process, for me at least, has been magical.

There's something so freeing about accomplishing the little things - I think it frees you up to start focusing on higher level possibilities.

For a long time I was just scribbling on a piece of scrap paper (sometimes with my kids drawings on the other side!) but I finally got my act together and decided to make myself a little worksheet [if you will] that I could simply fill in each time I was ready to revisit my goals and create new ones.

And that's what I'm going to share with you!

I think us bloggers often take for granted the things we want to accomplish with our blogs [and believe me, lots of my goals have absolutely nothing to do with money at all!] and don't take the time and effort require to get crystal clear about what we are doing and how we are going to do it!

So, here's what I want you to do. I want you to find a pen (or pencil or marker or something you can physically write with), I want you to print out the worksheet below and I want you to get as quiet and focused as you can. Then I want you to do the following: write out three achievable goals. 

That's it. Just write it out. Use 15-20 minutes of quiet time and really focus on what you want to accomplish and achieve in the next three months.

When you're done: POST IT. Seriously, let those words look you in the face every single day and use them as encouragement to take steps toward growth, new opportunities, new financial gains; whatever it is you are hoping to achieve.

One thing I want you to keep in mind [this was such a hard one for me!]:

YOUR GOALS ARE YOUR GOALS

Don't focus [yet] on what other people are doing. Don't think about that mom blog that is making $50,000 per month on sponsored posts. Don't think about that parenting forum that gets 500,000 page views each month. Don't compare, don't wonder what they're up to! Focus on you, what you want to accomplish, where you see your blog taking you and why you want to get there.

I think you'll be really amazed at what you can accomplish!

Want my printable? Click the image below and it's yours...hope it's as helpful to you as it has been to me!!!!

How to find your tribe and make collaboration work for you

Long title, real advice.

In my last post I talked about why collaboration (working with others to achieve a goal or many goals) is the key to having real success (however you define that) online. I cannot stress how much I believe that to be true: any and all of my online "successes" have come from relationships I have established or partnerships I have formed.

However, collaboration - finding the right people that you want to support and who want to support you in turn - is not easy. It sounds like it should be easy, but it truly isn't. There will be lots of bumps in the collaboration road once you start down the path. You will meet people who you think are perfect to collaborate with and they will let you down. You will have "big breaks" that turn out to be nothing like they were sold to you. You will feel like you are putting in all the work and someone else is reaping rewards. How do I know? I've been there. Way too many times.

But here's the great thing (and this is based off my personal experiences with success and failure). If you approach collaboration correctly - as a mutually beneficial 'business' transaction - even the not so great collaborations will turn into great experiences for you that help to propel you forward toward your goals. 

I guarantee there will be bumps in the road and disappointments but I also guarantee that if you continue to approach collaboration professionally and with the mindset that it needs to be mutually beneficial you will see huge rewards. 

So let's get you started...

Choose a project (projects!) to collaborate on

First of all, let me ask you a question: what do you want to achieve? I'm going to challenge you to make a huge list of goals - I really love handwritten lists that allow you to put out everything (I mean reach for the stars!). Once you have that list put it away. A few days later pull it out and highlight a few items that are reasonable to achieve with a little bit of help (also known as collaboration). 

Find a potential tribe

Everyone is going to go about this in a different way, but the steps are similar no matter who you are and what your goals are:

a)     Determine what you want to achieve from any collaboration

b)     Determine what you bring to the table

c)     Determine who would help you reach your goals but also how you could help them reach theirs – this is the tricky part but is so important. SO IMPORTANT. When I have a goal, I like to start by trolling my own social media and blog. I look for who comments, who likes, who reposts, who interacts. Then I look to my existing circle. Do I have friends who blog or engage in similar social media topics as me?Do I have acquaintances that may have similar goals and interests? Put together a list (seriously, I love lists) and make it as lofty and realistic as possible! 

      

         “Date” potential collaborator(s)

      Once you establish WHO you may want to collaborate with,  you need to figure out if a) they are willing and b) it's a good partnership. Like any relationship (friendship or romantic), take the time to figure out if a  collaborative partnership will work by being honest, open and realistic.

a)     Define your expectations (will you post each other’s blogs, retweet each other, reach out only when you need assistance, create vlogs together? Be very clear on what you hope to achieve together.)

b)     Define your parameters (what is NOT ok with you? what is NOT ok with them? What are your deal breakers?)

c)     Work on a non-essential project together (create a link up, a topic you both blog on and share, etc.). Do something that doesn't necessarily have money attached to it to make sure you are comfortable and work well together.

d)     Establish trust and honesty 

   

 Create your “tribe”

 Once you've found your collaborator (or group - don't rule out a team of people that support    

 and lift up each other!), make it work for both of you.

a) Clarify “ground rules” for your tribe- use your previously established expectations (which you've already done by now) and clarify what is expected from any collaborator. Is this on a project by project basis? Will there be an expectation around sharing each other’s work? Will there be multiple people included in this “tribe” or is it limited to one or two partners? Be especially clear and specific on what you need and want but also be open to changing and shifting expectations as necessary!

b) Establish a space for your tribe- use a closed or private Facebook group (of Google doc) to interact with each other, throw out ideas, suggest projects to work on, and ask for help.

c) Start supporting – remember that any good collaboration takes time and the more you put into the more you will get out of it! Become stars at making each other shine and sharing the spotlight with each other.

The truth is that there is no exact science to making a collaboration or partnership work, but it is worth putting in the work to find the right people and lay ground rules for supporting each other. When you have support it will not only improve your online exposure but it will allow you to feel more confident in what you can bring to the table when pitching brands, establishing new contacts, and branching out into uncharted online territory! 

Wednesday Confessions

I've only got two confessions for you today but, boy, do they make me look super duper AWESOME.

• Last week, I took my kids to skating (that's not the confession). It's a mad rush to get the kids dressed in an overcrowded dressing room and on the ice within 10 minutes of them getting out of school. But I did it! PHEW. I was very proud of myself, watching my kids skate circles around the other kids on the ice. But as I was standing there in all my glory, so very very very proud of my abilities as a mother, one of the coaches skated up to the glass and announced (very very very loudly) "Ma'am, I need you to meet me at the benches. Your sons skates are on the WRONG FEET." Yes, that's right, in my rush to put their skates on I had mixed up their skates (they're a size apart) and put two right feet on one child and two left feet on the other. Already feeling like a complete moron, I was then joined by my two sons on the benches and not one, not two, but THREE skating coaches and a couple of parents who were standing nearby, all offering to help me change my kids skates. Obviously because I was too dumb to get it right in the first place.

via GIPHY

2015: What A Year

I'll just leave this right here.
But honestly, what a year!
Growth, change, thrill, disappointment, fear, engagement, wisdom, tears and laughter. I had it all this past year.
In 9 square boxes, my year is summed up pretty perfectly.

Moments of warm sunshine

Today I watched my oldest son attempt to pitch a baseball.

The sun shone brightly, warm on my face.

The breeze was light and warm.

Quiet cheers and yells of delight emanated from the nearby park.

I felt still and calm and totally right in the moment.

It was quite a difference from the news that was filling my news feeds the night before.

My kids aren't quite old enough to grasp what is going on in the world right now, nor do I want them to.  I really just want to bottle up their innocence and hold onto their naive worldview for as long as I can.  I don't really want them to grow up much past where they are right now...

As selfish as it is, I want to just stay in these moments.

Warm November days, baseball in the sunshine, squeals of joy at the park.

Safety and security.

Blissful innocence.

Down With Halloween Loot Bags!

Do you remember getting multiple bags full of (dollar store, likely) Halloween goodies the week leading up to the haunted holiday?

I sure don't.

In fact, other than the actual day of trick or treating (or the occasional school party where we would fill up on as much pop and chips as we could stuff in our faces), I don't recall Halloween even being that big of a deal growing up.

Sure, the occasional home would go overboard in decor or create a spooky haunted house that would pretty much make me pee my pants, but Halloween wasn't seen as an opportunity for parents to go overboard in the classroom.

Times. Have. Changed.

Over this past week - the one leading up to Halloween - both of my boys have come home with multiple Halloween loot bags. Pencils, erasers, stamps and stickers. Colouring books, candy, balloons, and crayons. Whistles (SERIOUSLY HALLOWEEN WHISTLES). Glow sticks. All lovingly packed in jack-o-lantern bags with curled ribbon.

Don't be fooled by that happy face- this jack-o-lantern loot bag is full of dollar store treats and one-upmanship.

Now I am certainly not looking a gift horse in the mouth- I'm happy that people have taken their time and money to create a nice (often non-treat) goodie bag for my kids to enjoy.

But I can't help but wonder- WHY?

I like Halloween just fine. It's fun to get dressed up, put out a few decorations, carve a pumpkin (roast the seeds!), and watch my boys have the time of their life going trick or treating.

However, this new trend - expectation, even - of Halloween loot bags for every kid in your child's class just doesn't fly with me! It's become another parenting one-up show in my decently well-off neighbourhood. Parents are spending time and money just to out-do other parents.

Most of the stuff in these loot bags is disposable and plastic. Most of it (if I'm being truthful) ends up in my trash. And yes, I understand that some parents really enjoy crafting or creating little take-homes for their kid's friends...but I dare say this isn't the case. Most of these loot bags are created to impress other parents.

So I say - DOWN WITH HALLOWEEN LOOT BAGS!

We don't need pumpkin stamps or witch embossed pencils and, Lord knows, we don't need another whistle in this house!!!! I don't care that your loot bag was bigger than the loot bag that I got the day before or that you used your scrapbooking stamper to maker special pumpkin name tags on your loot bags.

Parents: if you really want to impress me, volunteer to carve or paint pumpkins with the kids at school! Volunteer to bring a special healthy snack for all the kids! Buy some Halloween-themed books for your child's classroom library! Contribute to school culture by volunteering to chaperone the Halloween costume parade! Start a costume swap!

There are so many ways we can enjoy Halloween without turning it into a "my Halloween loot bag was bigger and better and more personalized than yours" competition for parents.

I, for one, won't be sending my kid with any kind of Halloween give-away for his classmates so don't bother looking out for it!

(And truthfully, I won't be feeling even one ounce of guilt about it).

Home Office Makeover (and a HUGE GIVEAWAY)

I'm not sure if a Staples employee visited my home recently, but they certainly have good timing. Because, the day my Staples home office makeover gift card arrived, my office looked like THIS:

Yup, like that. 

I have worked at home for over two years and my office looks like a hurricane hit it pretty much every day. Paper, some toys, and a mishmash of pens and whatever else my kids were able to steal away from me when I'm not looking. The reason? Other than the need to keep them busy while I answer emails or work on something for a client, I have NO STORAGE. 

We bought a cheap desk over 8 years ago and that is what I have used ever since.

So, when the aforementioned saviour of my home office, Staples, offered to provide me with $150 to makeover my office, I JUMPED. I needed a way to get the crap paper off the floor of my office and away from interested, little hands.


So this cutie to the right and I headed out to the store, armed with a gift card and a dream (and a sucker because bribery works!).

And I just have to say that I scored, big time.

First, I already have an affinity for Staples. 
Row upon row of organizational tools, pencils, paper, and everything in between appeals to the teacher in me. Truth? The best time of the school year (when I was teaching) was the week that all the supplies I had ordered the year before arrived in my classroom! Nothing better than everything feeling fresh, cleaned and organized.

After a thorough search of the store, Will and I settled in what I like to call the "Martha Stewart aisle". 
Everything in this aisle is beautiful and functional and (according to the packaging) easy to assemble.

Upon in depth conferencing with my two year old, we agreed to purchase the Wall Manager system in black and picked up the following:

• cork board;
• white board;
• shelf;
• drawer & shelf combo;
• two Wall Manager boards;
• two hooks and clips;
• a wall caddy; and
• two clips

But of course, this wasn't enough. In addition to the Wall Manager system, I picked up:

• one HUGE package of paper;
• one HUGE spiral of coloured sticky notes;
• a box of small clips
• two banker boxes to store all my unnecessary to use but necessary to keep files; and
• a desk-sized filing system for all those files I need AT HAND.

All of this for less than $150. 
AMAZING, right?

On a Sunday morning, I sent my husband up to my office to install my new Wall Manager system. I expected him to be gone for the rest of the morning…instead, he was gone 10 minutes. 

That's it. 

When the box says "easy to install" apparently it's right. 

I, on the other hand, spent the next 1.5 hours working on re-organinzing my disaster of a home office. 

And here are the results:

My fully assembled (in 10 minutes!!!) wall organizer - it is the perfect size for all those important papers and notes that need to be kept in sight but away from little hands!

My clips and pushpins, safely stored in my Wall Manger system and away from the kids.

Paper, banker boxes, a desktop filing system and more sticky notes than I could dream of!

My new and improved, organized office space. Important notes, papers, stickies and pens are away from little hands. My files are safely stored in the closet, with the essential (working on right now) files in my desk for easy access. I actually feel like I can WORK now!

Thank you so much Staples, for allowing me to get my workspace back! 

Now for the stuff you're really interested in...

THE GIVEAWAY!

So what are you waiting for? I want you to enjoy a home office as amazing as mine…and to help you get started, Staples is going to give away a free router (worth up to $100!!!!) to one lucky Sleeping Is For Losers reader (Canada only). Check out this link for your choices...

How to Enter:

Leave a comment below (about anything you like- tell me about your home office woes, why you could use a router, or just say hi!). Make sure you include an email address for me to email you at if you are the winner:) 

Extra Entry:

If you would like a second entry, tweet out the following:

Win a router (worth up to $100) from Sleeping Is For Losers and @sarahnewk. Enter at http://sleepingisforlosers.blogspot.ca/2013/10/home-office-makeover.html 


Contest closes November 1, 2013 at midnight. ENTER NOW and Good Luck:)


*Full disclosure- I received a $150 gift card from Staples to use for the purposes of remaking my home office. Of course, you know I don't speak anything but the truth and, in this case, the truth is that Staples had great products at great prices!

The Social

On Friday, September 13 (yes, Friday the 13th), my two year old threw up all over me.

Head to toe- he covered me in mash of oatmeal and grapes exactly 20 minutes before I was supposed to leave my house for a 'girls day out' birthday celebration with my mom and sister.

TWENTY MINUTES before I was supposed to leave for a taping of Canada's newest talk show- The Social.

So, while on the verge of tears because (yes, I'm bragging) my hair looked really good, I put the two year old and myself in the shower, got the vomit stench out of my hair, did a hair/makeup re-do and left my house (an hour late), praying I'd make it to the show on time.

SPOILER ALERT- I did:)

(oh, and my son is fine. The vomiting was brought on by too much spinning in my office chair.)

So, The Social.

I have to admit that I had only watched two episodes of the show before I sat in the audience. I was already familiar with a few of the hosts from their other gigs on CP24 and eTalk (and of course my favourite gossip site- laineygossip.com), but I wasn't entirely sure about their chemistry- about them, even, and how they would fill an entire hour.

A group of women - around my age - opining about things that are buzzing on social media? It sounds like something I SHOULD be into, though.

Sissy and I posing in the audience of The Social

If you don't know me in real life, then let me tell you that I pretty much live my life on social media. I blog here about the ups and downs of parenthood and life in general, I tweet about my annoyances and love of everything from the Blue Jays to Miley, I write a column on education/parenting for the Toronto Sun, and I Facebook and Instagram everything else. I love people who are an open book and not afraid to have opinions (even controversial ones).

But I just wasn't sure about this show.

How real were these 'media personalities' going to be? How fun would it be to sit in an audience of dolled-up ladies (and a guy!) and listen to... chatter?

Truth?

It was amazing! And after our set visit, I am totally sold on this show.

We were there on a Friday, which meant that the AMAZING Jess was on the panel. This girl, I am telling you, is a star. She is witty and fun and real and insightful and brings a breath of fresh air to the panel. I will forever kick myself in the butt for not putting together that she was the Maclean's writer that I have read and adored- I'm not sure why it didn't click (I'm usually really good with names, especially when they tell me where they used to work! oy!!). I would have picked her brain regarding my on-the-cusp-of-something writing career for as long as she would have let me!

Traci, Cynthia and Melissa were exactly what I would hope a host would be in real life. They were warm and smart and engaging and huggy (ya, it's a word). I wanted to sit down with a coffee and talk parenting tips, clothes, and life in general with them.

But, hooo-boy, I fell in love with Lainey. I love me some good snark, which she brings, BUT she also has a graciousness and warmth that I didn't really expect. After the show she spent an amazing amount of time talking to the audience and seemed genuinely grateful and interested in what they had to say.

So, in short, if you are thinking about visiting the set of The Social for a live taping- do it! I have been to the other major Canadian talk shows as an audience member and I can honestly say that this was my best experience.

Oh, and one more thing. That blonde in the white pants in the picture below- don't you think she would be an AMAZING guest to speak about the 'mom blogging' phenomenon (maybe even provide a round-up of what's hot on the 'mom blogs' for their site on the regular...)? I mean, she just looks right at home with that group of ladies. And did you SEE how often she was shown during the show?? Just hinting... hardcore. Put me in coach!

The hosts, my sis, my mom and me...great day!