Dream Room Makeover

When my husband and I bought our home two years ago, I was 8 months pregnant with our second son. And super grumpy. And in no mood to redecorate.

And you know what? Our house was perfectly fine the way it was painted. Our furniture fit just fine, the colours were not exactly what I would choose but they certainly were not awful by any means. Everything just worked.

Nonetheless, I have spent the past years hoping that we would be able to find the time/money to redecorate our bedroom and create the master bedroom of my dreams...we have been homeowners since 2006 and I have yet to decorate one room exactly the way I would love it.

Enter March Break and my lovely husband, who agreed to take the week off while I took the kids to my parents- all so he could work his butt off to give me the master bedroom of my dreams. Armed with a $1,000 budget and strict instructions from yours truly, Chris really gave me the bedroom I have been dreaming of! I never bought into that "your master bedroom should be a sanctuary for you and your spouse" but now...

The Before:

Our master bedroom was a purple/grey colour that had literally become a dumping grounds for everything we needed to store in our house. Beautiful bedside lamps (from HomeSense) and a decent bed/night tables but everything else was expendable.

Purple walls- not my husband's dream...

My junky old dresser- filled with crap:)

Kids toys, left over Christmas junk.. this picture makes us look like Hoarders: The Beginnings

THE AFTER:

Our room was painted Spider's Web (a very light grey), with new dijon bedding from Urban Barn

A close-up of the textured wall paper (Martha Stewart) behind our bed. It's stunning in real life... wish it translated better on camera.

A sunny, bright vignette. (pictures & drapes from Home Sense; curtain rods from Martha Stewart)

An antique dresser and chair fill the space that junk once occupied.

My old dresser gets a facelift with a new mirror (Home Sense) and some pretty accessories. 

 I just could not be happier with how the room looks. It has the bright, sunny, hotel room feeling I was looking for- a place to relax, watch tv and feel truly rested. What's better? We came in under $1000 and were able to paint our master ensuite and replace the lighting fixture! A true room facelift:)

My Confessions

It's been a while since I've confessed and I sure have a lot to get off my chest..

• Every morning my kids have a delicious, healthy bowl of steel cut oats for breakfast. With SPRINKLES. They each get a palm full of sprinkles (rainbow, of course) to sprinkle all over their healthy oats. In fact, many a morning my wee William can be seen trotting around the house chanting "Spinnnnkles, Spinnnnnkles" in anticipation of his morning treat. (self-righteous mom I am, I rarely tell people about the sprinkles but I sure mention how much my kids love oatmeal)
• Every time someone who is not a Celiac tells me that they're going gluten-free I roll my eyes.
• William naps at about 12:30 every afternoon. At that exact time, I put on the TV for Zachary and head upstairs to my office. I don't come out again until Will wakes up. Listen, I'm a work at home mom, you take work hours when you can get them...even if it means that Treehouse is raising your kid for a few hours.
• Every time someone makes a comment on Zach's red hair I cringe. I hate it. YES, he has red hair. YES, it's rare. YES, let's talk about it some more. ugh.
• My kids have eaten macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets for dinner every night this week. I don't even feel guilty because I totally heated up some frozen veggies on the side.
• I really, really, really want a golden retriever. So badly that I threatened my husband, who refuses to have a dog, that it was either another baby or a dog (he's standing firm at neither). In desperation, I have also tried to convince my mom and my sister to get a golden retriever. I'm going to start working on my aunt next.
• On Wednesday, my husband's birthday, we sent the kids to daycare ALL DAY and proceeded to go out for a lavish Mexican lunch and a shopping/Starbucks trip to the newly-open TARGET! I also worked, but those few hours just hanging out sans kids were so fun. I can't wait for the next time we can send the kids off for the day and just hang out.

The Stomach

During the month of February, I completed an Ab Challenge. 28 days of ab work...in hopes of diminishing my deflated balloon belly button.

The results?

I lost one inch in my stomach. I don't see any noticeable difference in terms of skin 'tightening' but I'm always happy to kiss an extra inch bye-bye:)

And, although I wasn't going to, I'm feeling peer pressure *you know who you are* to show what my stomach looks like after 2 kids and a 60 pound weight gain per kid, so here it is.

Check out the skin around my belly button- that wrinkly old man skin? That's what I'm trying to get rid of! Listen, I'm a curious person too so I guess it's only fair to show real-life pics when I'm talking so much about it! I'm never ever ever expecting ab definition because I, even at my skinniest, have never had it. But that loose skin (and love handles)...wouldn't mind if they all disappeared!

Debt Secrets?

Ever watched one of those reality shows where people are drowning in debt and have a money guru sweep in to show them the light and save the day? I do. Often. I feel a bit of self-righteous pride after watching because, unlike those people on the show, I have a handle on my money.
But do I really? Do any of us?

We live in a world where everything we need is at hand and anything  we want can be charged to credit. Minimum payments mean we can afford our debt but will never be out of it. The need for post-secondary education, coupled with an often crippling cost; the thoroughly ingrained need to own a home and not 'waste' money by renting; the need for transportation; the cost of raising kids; rising grocery bills. I could go on but I know I'm preaching to the choir.
Pretty much every person I know is carrying some debt- but a lot of people I know are carrying significant secret debt. Secret debt that is crippling them and breaking them apart. Secret debt that is keeping them awake at night and drowning their happiness.
So many of us have learned that we don't talk about money, we don't share those struggles and we are never, ever supposed to be open and honest about something that is so personal.

Enter my friend Kristy. Kristy has decided to blow the lid off of debt and declare that she and her husband are working to be debt-free by 30. Kristy is my hero when it comes to money-sharing. She just lays it all out there on the table and is holding herself accountable. Using REAL numbers and sharing REAL struggles, and just be straight up REAL.
It is because of Kristy that my husband and I pulled up our bootstraps and became consumer-debt free. On her blog, she shares the numbers and her household budget. The mistakes that have precipitated debt and her debt breakdown. She has also been giving real life monthly updates- not inflating the amount she pays off each month.  It is the most refreshing, honest blog I have read to date.

My husband and I have been blessed. We have never been drowning. We have never been awake all night, wondering how we will pay our bills. But, we have certainly felt the creeping pangs of debt that could balloon into something completely unmanageable; debt that is on the cusp of becoming too much for our double-income family. I have 2 university degrees, both paid for by Canada Student Loans that I'm still re-paying. We own a decent-sized house with a decent sized mortgage, have two cars, and daily pay for two (really really really expensive) kids. We work very hard to budget and stay in line, but life is pricey and there have been times that we have felt a significant pinch and watched our credit cards reach their limits.

So, drowning in debt, wading through it, or rarely feeling the pinch, I think we could all benefit from being a little more open about where we are and how our money is doing. No lying, no secrets, no self-righteous pride, no judgement. I having a sneaking suspicion that if we all threw the covers off our debt it wouldn't be such a terrible thing at all!

I Made These

Sometimes I cannot believe that I made these two boys. That they are so different but so alike. That I ever didn't have them in my life. Sometimes I cannot believe that these two are really mine. So lucky am I.

My Top 3 Reads of 2013 (so far!)

I have been so remiss in reviewing the books I have been reading- probably because, between work and kids and life in general, it is taking me FOREVER to get through any book, no matter how wonderful it is.
Despite this, I want to share with you my top 3 reads of 2013 (to date):

1. Room by Emma Donoghue

My friend Elinor recommended this book. Told from the perspective of a five-year-old boy held in captivity with his mother, this is my top pick for any must-read list. Everything about this novel captivated me. Perhaps as a mother to young boys, it resonated a little more than I anticipated. Nonetheless, Donoghue has created a world that draws the reader in from the first page. While the story is written in five-year-old language, it never feels forced or clunky but rather has a flow that kept me wanting to turn the page and guessing what would happen next.
While reading, I was most drawn to the character 'Ma', the mother of the five-year-old narrator. Her strength, power and significant poise and resolve were both shocking and awe-inspiring to me. She looks on the world with such a limited yet broad view and enables the reader to see what love really can accomplish.
Room is a treasure; a rare story that holds your imagination captive while weaving a harrowing tale. This book swallowed me whole and didn't spit me out until the final word.

2. Everybody Has Everything by Katrina Onstad

My friend Laura bought this book for me for Christmas. I have to admit that I wasn't 100% sure how much I would like the novel. I mean, it's Canadian and all. But, I will eat those words and freely admit that I am IN LOVE with this novel. Onstad weaves a tale so familiar to me that, if I didn't know better, I would have believed I had lived the life of the two main characters, Ana and James.
Thrown into parenthood when friends are involved in a tragic car accident, Ana and James are forced to turn their lives upside down and care for a 2.5 year old boy, facing some scary and revealing truths about themselves and their relationship. If I hadn't believed before that children are a mirror revealing all that is right and wrong in a person/marriage, I certainly do now.
An elegantly written tale, with Toronto as the backdrop, Onstad may have written my favourite Canadian novel to date. HIGHLY recommended!

3. Shout Her Lovely Name by Natalie Serber

I am a massive short story fan. Shout Her Lovely Name is a collection of short stories penned by Natalie Serber. Serber weaves tales underlining the desperate complexities of families, specifically the relationship between mothers and daughters.
While I have been a fan of Serber's writing, I had trouble getting to the end of this collection. Perhaps it felt a little one-note to me as I got to the final story- the same theme, the same idea, the same issues. While Serber writes with a candour that is both familiar and enticing, I found her 'short' stories to drag at times and I found myself missing the more 'bite-sized' writing that I am used to (look up some of Sarah Selecky's writing- you'll be in for a treat).
This collection was not a miss for me, though. I still adored the way that Serber created female characters who were strong yet flawed, grasping for perfection yet not quite attaining it (aren't we all?). There was something calmingly familiar in her writing.
But I think the highest praise I can give this collection is that it made me want to write. It made me think and dream and conjure up my own stories- and that, to me, is the mark of a great storyteller!

My Jealousy List

A few years ago, I was feeling really jealous. I felt like every person in my life was achieving and succeeding and I was sitting, stagnant. I had done the marriage thing, I had done two university degrees, I'd done a bit of travelling and a bit of volunteering. I had a steady job and a house. I mean, I had everything that people work toward in their life but I still felt so jealous of those around me who were, in some instances, failing at 'perfect life' but totally succeeding at 'real, messy, fun life'.
In a moment of clarity in that year-long self-pity party, I wrote out a list of every single person that I was jealous of and exactly WHY I was jealous of them. It turned out to be the best thing I have ever done, because it allowed me to see, in black and white (or blue and white, I guess), that I was jealous of people who were chasing and living dreams- not just talking about them.

From that point on, I started creating lists whenever I feel that ugly jealousy emotion creeping in. I sit down and honestly list every person I have felt jealousy for and exactly why. Then I comb through the list and cross out all the dumb jealousy items that I can't change (i.e.- Elizabeth because she doesn't have kids).

After cutting, I'm left with items to reflect on. WHY am I jealous of xyz for getting into university when I have no desire to go back to school?  WHY does it make me see green when xyz trains four nights a week for a sport I don't want to play? WHY am I feeling jealousy toward xyz for posting pictures of her kids crafting at the kitchen table? WHY am I feeling the way I feel.

This exercise has proved, again and again, to give me incredible insight into what I really want from my life and where I need to improve, work harder, or get over it. The past few days I have been reflecting on a new jealously list and I've realized a few things about myself:

• I NEED to put the work into my writing. I NEED to be ok with not being chosen or succeeding every time I submit my short stories but I NEED to submit them anyway. My DREAM is to be a writer and I NEED to put the real hard and dirty work into this, despite the fact that I know it will likely never sustain me financially.
• I NEED to make time to work out four days a week. It is not only for my health and appearance but for my mental health.
• I NEED to come to terms with the fact that no one will ever understand that I WORK from home  and I that if I need to pay for additional child care, it is not a failure on my part. It's ok that I like my job. It's ok for my kids to go to preschool/daycare 4 mornings a week instead of three. It does not make me a bad mother.
• I NEED to find a charity to be involved in- I need something bigger than myself to devote a few hours a week to.
• I NEED to book some time just for my husband and myself to hang out. We are always a better couple when we have some time alone.

So, my challenge to you is to make your own jealousy list. Reflect on it. And then, do what is often the hardest part of any self-reflection, ACT on what you discover.