Making Halloween Safe AND Fun [ + a giveaway!]

If we were to be really, really honest, couldn't we agree that Halloween and trick or treating is really for parents? Stick with me on this: 

Is there anything better than your adorable, squishy babe dressed up as a little scary monster or very sad bunny? Nope!

Is there anything better than convincing your attitude-filled 7 year old that doing full-face makeup (using your eyeshadow, red lipstick & eyeliner) so that he can be a zombie, while his little brother is rocking that Ben Affleck/George Clooney as Batman vibe? NOPE!

Is there anything better than sitting on your floor and sorting through the bags and bags of loot your kids managed to collect (and that you're totally going to be eating once they head off to bed).  Heck, no!

Halloween is one of the rare times that parents get to enjoy being silly and fun with their kids and dressing them up in the kind of costumes and outfits they've always dreamed of (just me? doubt it!).

In our house, our first Halloween with our son was 7 years ago. I found the cutest costume, dressed him up, had family over (seriously!!!) and took him out to a grand total of 4 houses before he lost his cool. But you know what? It was totally worth it! I was never been more in love with those squishy cheeks than I was the night he was a baby monkey.

Over the years, Halloween has become an even more fun family activity. I've thrown Halloween parties; had kids on the street do tricks for treats (they honestly didn't know what to think of me!); spooked up our front walk so much that kids were afraid to visit (oops!); been mom to a duck, Cookie Monster, Power Rangers, a 'ginger ninja', and Iron Man;  and I've had SO MUCH FUN doing it!

And really, don't get me started on the pumpkins. Pumpkin carving is 100% set aside for parental fun in our house. And by parents, I mean my husband. Check out some of his handiwork:

(And to be fair, my kids have just as much fun deciding on our pumpkin theme and watching my husband carve it!).

My boys are a bit older now and they have friends on our street that they like to trick or treat with (with parents in tow, of course!). But the magic and fun of Halloween hasn't been lost. They still LOVE picking out their own costumes, letting me help them get ready (because let's face it, costumes are getting more and more elaborate!) and heading out to collect as much candy as possible for one special night.

As a parent, I've also learned a lot about making Halloween just as safe as it is fun.

Let me tell you a little story about my own scary Halloween experience (and how it has changed the way I view Halloween and trick or treating for my kids):

When I was 8 years old, dressed as a cheerleader (as I was every single year, with the exception of the year that I had to be Little Red Riding Hood because it was the only thing that would fit over my snowsuit!), I was allowed to trick or treat with my friends as long as I was in sight of my parents, who had my little sister in tow. 
I was thrilled and having the time of my life! I could taste that freedom! About 10 minutes before we were going to back it in for the night, I saw a girl I knew from school trick or treating across the street. I couldn't get her attention so I decided to run across the street and grab her. I can't say I exactly remember what happened but I do remember screeching tires, screaming and - in the end - a bumper just a few inches from my head. Thankfully, the car stopped just in time and I was not hit running across the road. I was an extraordinarily responsible kid, but the excitement and fun of trick or treating over road all the safety tips I knew & regularly obeyed. 

That might be the reason I want my kids to love Halloween (I certainly had trouble enjoying it after that scary incident), but it's also the reason I am absolutely dedicated to make our trick or treating experiences as safe and incident-free as possible.

There are a few things that are now mandatory for Halloween night - they don't take the fun away from running all over the neighbourhood with their friends and collecting more candy, chocolate & chips than they could ever dream of, but they do ensure we are having the BEST and SAFEST night.

Here's what I insist on (based on advice from the Canadian Association of Fire Chiefs):

• No Candles: We love carving pumpkins (correction: my husband loves carving pumpkins!) but with a clumsy mom (me!) and even more clumsy 5 year old in our house, candles inside our pumpkins are a recipe for disaster. That's not even taking into consideration all the teeny-tiny tots who will climb our steps for a treat on Halloween night. Instead, we use a flashlight inside our pumpkins.  Using a long lasting battery like a Duracell Coppertop Battery helps keep them powered all night long.

• Be Visible: My older son is now 7 years old and really loves the idea of being a zombie, which I'm fine with, as LONG as he is visible. To mitigate the arguments, he wears reflective tape on his ripped zombie jeans so he can easily be seen by motorists. Alternatively, our littlest one wore reflective tape on his Batman cape so he could be sure to be seen while fighting crime [and collecting candy!]

• Flashlights Light The Way: Everyone in our Halloween trick-or-treating group has a flashlight with fresh Duracell Coppertop batteries so they can see. This is extra important when creeping up on spooky houses that are dimly lit! We also make sure we stay on the sidewalk, in well-lit areas (our own neighbourhood) and and only visit homes with their lights turned on.

• Strength in Numbers: As I mentioned, my kids are getting older. So, while there is always a parent with them, we also make sure they walk in a group. There's safety (and fun!) in numbers!

• Know Where You're Going: We always discuss our route before leaving the house. That means everyone knows what streets we are visiting and where to go should we ever be separated (thankfully they will have their own flashlight to help light the way!). We do not zig-zag across the street and we certainly do not go on any routes we have not discussed ahead of time Planning a route and sticking to it helps in ensuring that the most candy is collected in the safest way possible.

• Parents Check First: As tempting as it is to bite into a chocolate bar mid-route, all candy and chocolate has to be inspected by mom and dad before it is eaten. Yes, this definitely means that we will taste test some as well, but better safe than sorry I always say:)

• Fresh Batteries: Between our flashlights for every child and adult, flashlights or battery-powered lights inside our pumpkins, and all the other spooky extras that we power up on Halloween night, having new & fresh batteries on hand is a must! As always, our go-to is the coppertop brand - Duracell - that we trust the most.

I am a huge believer in ensuring my children are safe and empowered. By talking about our rules (and reminding them of why we have those rules!), having the right safety tools ready to go (including the long lasting power of Duracell batteries), being prepared with plenty of Halloween bags and a bunch of Halloween candy ready for the cute trick or treaters that will be at our doorstep, and making fun & safety a priority, our Halloween evenings go off without a hitch.

And yes, BE HONEST, Halloween really is for the parents. Sure the kids get the candy, but we get the memories we make as a family on Halloween and the knowledge that our kids are having a great experience as well. Even though I have yet to wear a costume and humiliate my kids (although I'm not above it, they just beg me not to!), being out in the neighbourhood with friends, seeing my kids be silly and have an absolute blast is always 100% worth it!

Now I want YOU to have the same fun and safe experience that my family has on Halloween! My friends at Duracell are giving away a Halloween trick-or-treating safety kit which includes:

• Duracell Coppertop batteries
• Coleman flashlight
• Wearable reflectors
• Flameless candle

It looks pretty awesome, doesn't it!?

This amazing prize pack care of Duracell Coppertop Batteries can be yours by simply entering below! I know you will be as obsessed with the lasting power of Duracell as I am and hopefully inspired to have a memory-filled and super safe Halloween experience!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by Duracell Coppertop batteries, as part of the #TrustedPower program. In exchange for this review, I have received special perks in the form of products and/or compensation. All opinions on this blog are my own.

The Worst Part Of Parenting

Let's get really real about parenting, shall we?

"What is the worst part of parenting for you?" 

That's the question I was recently asked and set out to answer. 

In this particular season of parenting, while my boys are 7 & 5 years old, it's dealing with constant arguing. My kids argue with each other and with me about EVERYTHING. It is nails on a chalkboard and I can't figure out how to get them to STOP THE FIGHTING!

Anyone have some good advice for me about how to get my kids to get along or at the very least STOP FIGHTING!?

[And yes, you're getting SUPER real talk here because I am makeup free and rocking some pretty gross hair. You're welcome]

Print Your Memories [+WIN!]

When was the last time you printed out a photo and hung it up?

Still thinking?

Ya, I gotcha!

To be honest, as much as I love taking photos, I am the worst for actually printing and hanging them. In fact, the last time I printed a photo was for this:

If you have been following my family, you would know that these pictures - currently adorning the front hallway of my home - are from almost 5 years ago. That's right. The last time I printed a picture was 5 years ago. Oof.

I suppose it is merely the digital age that we live in but it seems so passé to even consider printing out our photos. And yet, having photos on display is one of the things that gives me immense joy each and every day. I love seeing those happy memories in full view - the ones that make you smile each time you see them.

For me, one of those pictures is this selfie (shocker!) that my family took while we were our on a boat during a week that we rented a cottage this summer. 

I don't know that the picture itself is particularly amazing, but the memories that it brings back are absolute perfection. A week of sun and sand, boating on the water, swimming off the dock, bonfires & marshmallows. It was a week of connectivity and togetherness that really made an otherwise boring summer something to remember fondly - one of those family times that made us all a little more connected.

I knew I wanted to print out this memory but, again more honesty, the chances of me running out to the store to print it, finding the perfect frame and getting it up on the wall are pretty slim. And so I just tucked it away digitally...until I heard of Canvas Factory.

Here's what I love [and truthfully exactly what I need if I am ever going to print out my photos!]: 

1) Canvas Factory allows you to choose your digital photos for printing SO EASILY (you can even choose from Facebook or Instagram... that's such a bonus for this social photo sharing mama!)

2) I was able to order my canvas ONLINE with a few clicks of my mouse. REALLY. It was so easy!

3) It comes ready to hang. I don't have to search for a frame that's the right size. 

4) The canvas is such high quality. It is wrapped beautifully and the colour quality is perfection.

Perfectly wrapped - no corners sticking out or distracting from the awesomeness of this photo!

Easy to hang! I promise... I did it MYSELF (and that never happens at my house!)

5) Your photo gets delivered right to your HOME! YOUR HOME! I was in yoga pants and a bun when it was delivered, people. That is exactly what I'm talking about. 

So, in reality, it takes the excuses out of not printing your photos because Canvas Factory has made it so uber-easy to get your precious memories wall-worthy in just a few clicks of a button. AND they have built-in filters and options that make this selfie-queen's heart sing!!



Now my precious cottage memory now hangs proudly in my upstairs hallway, right between my kids' bedrooms. A space that has been vacant of anything for the entire 6 years we have lived in our home! 

I get to pass it multiple times each day and each time it puts a smile on my face [and it puts a smile of the faces of my boys as well]. I am not sure what took me so long, but I'm so, so, so glad I finally got around to not just printing but also hanging our family photos!

And now I want the same for you! 

Thanks to Canvas Factory, one lucky winner [Canada & US only] will be getting their own Canvas Factory print to proudly display in their home. Let's get printing and displaying those memories!!!

I know you will love your Canvas Factory print - and cherish those memories everytime you look at them -  just as much as I do. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway




This post and giveaway are sponsored by Canvas Factory, however all opinions are my own.

Power More Summer With a Rustic-Themed Night Out [+ WIN!]

I really don't want this summer to end.

You're probably nodding your head, but this summer has felt extra special for me in so many ways. Maybe it has been the amazing number of super hot days we have experienced, but I feel like this summer has been a rich time of connecting with my family and friends.

As August is upon us and summer starts to wind down, I want to hold onto summer more than ever.

I have written about this before, but so much of my life has changed since becoming a mom. One of the biggest changes has been my friendships. Many of my pre-kid friends didn't join me in motherhood for quite a few years. As a result, I felt very alone in this whole 'mom life'. It took many years [and some failed attempts, if I'm being honest] to cultivate new friendships.

Having friends that understand who you are, what struggles you are facing, and what being a working mom is all about can be extraordinarily tough,  but I feel so lucky to have met a group of moms who just seem to get the struggle of the juggle.

The best part? They all live on my street! [I know! I know! So lucky!].  We met at the bus stop our kids were all assigned to, but those daily interactions have led to really significant friendships that go beyond the surface level of the daily "how are you doing". I count myself as one of the lucky ones who gets to have true friends in her every day life.

Taking the opportunity to get together with our mom friends to eat, laugh and hang out is such an important part of that illusive balance we are all searching for. There's something so cathartic about letting yourself go and completely relaxing with others.

Each month my friends and I take turns hosting a "mom's night out". While we don't go crazy with planned activities, we sure do try to make the monthly experience something special. We don't get out much [rather, I don't get out much] so the time we have to hang out kid-free is something we all hold very sacred.

This month, it was my turn to host our "mom's night out" and I wanted it to be an evening that helped us hold on to summer a little longer and really enjoy the warm temperatures, bright evenings and the beauty of the summer months!

You know what? It was an absolute smashing success!

But what I think really helped was that I didn't make the evening difficult for myself. With a clear focus on holding onto summer, and holding onto friendships that I hold so dear, it was simple and fun to put together our mom's night out.

I want you to have the same experience with your best girlfriends. To do that, here are my tips for hosting the perfect mom's night out in your own backyard (with some serious help from Duracell Quantum batteries, helping all of us #powermoresummer):

Host it at home
Although it's fun to go out, there's nothing like the comfort of home when you're hanging out with friends. I love creating a relaxed setting so I chose my own backyard - where better to take advantage of the extra warm temperatures and tons of sunlight we have been enjoying here in Canada. You don't need a fancy backyard [I certainly don't have one!], you just need a table, some chairs and enough  space to sit comfortably. Truth be told, I have previously dragged my kitchen table out into my backyard when my current outdoor furniture just wouldn't do. Hosting at home also saves you money (big bonus!) and gives you the opportunity to make quick changes or grab extra snacks on the fly.

Create a theme
I never want anyone to go all out when it comes to planning a get-together for friends, but a theme is an easy way to create a special night. For my mom's night out, I wanted a rustic theme. Nothing too fancy or elegant, but something that was still pretty and inviting for the girls.

My rustic inspiration was the European tradition of dining al fresco on a patio with friends, food and wine.  It might have a little to do with my European obsession [I've never been, can you believe it?!?], but also a lot to do with my love of gatherings that feel natural - nothing too polished, fussy, or pretentious. I want all my mom friends to arrive, kick back, have fun and stay as late as their eyes will stay open.

Shop your home for decor

Listen, if you're hosting a memorable mom's night you don't need to break the bank. Save your pennies and shop your home for decor. Everything I used to create my rustic al fresco themed table actually came from right inside my home. And let me tell you, it was an absolute hit!

I decided to focus on three main components for the table: wood, glass, greenery.

To take care of the wood and glass, I used a rustic wooden bowl & serving spoons (that I had purchased about 7 years ago and never used...eep!), a wooden serving dish that I picked up at a local thrift store, glass candle holders, and crystal drinking glasses [there's no need to save your best stuff for a super special occasion, am I right?]. 

But the greenery is where I really hit it out of the park. Instead of spending hundreds of dollars on flowers and decor - which I absolutely have done before - I grabbed potted herbs that I had on the window sill in my kitchen, specifically parsley and dill.  They added that perfect rustic ambiance that I was going for and - BONUS - they cost me absolutely nothing!

I added long grass from my own garden to a less than beautiful vase & then added a huge bunch of big, bold & beautiful sunflowers [generously donated by my neighbour who would likely give you some too because, in his words, "these things grow like weeds & I can't get rid of them"].

Finally, because I love a kick of colour on a table I threw on a large bunch of radishes, still bundled with an elastic band, that I had picked up at a local farmers market that morning. They were absolutely the icing on the cake and although they seem to be slightly out of place when I write about them here on my blog, they were truly the perfect pop of colour to a rustic table setting.

Don't forget the lighting!

Because summer nights are synonymous with sunshine until 9:00 pm, we often forget the need for lighting as the sun starts to set. I cannot overstate the importance of soft and beautiful lighting because, if your friends are anything like mine, the setting of the sun does not equal the end of the night - not even close!

I have seen too many accidents with candles to ever use them for anything more than simple, unlit table decoration (which I did & absolutely love). Instead, my go-to is always battery-powered flameless candles. They give off the same beautiful glow as candlelight but they don't leave wax or cause a potential fire hazard. 

I also added a large lantern (the one I used from Coleman's is amazing) to the end of the table. As it neared a cloudy midnight hour,  this lantern cast significant light and made all the difference for our mom's night out. It kept the table illuminated and gave us enough light so we could actually see each other's faces as we laughed and talked well into the latest hours of the night.

Here's a pro tip: put fresh batteries in everything before your guests arrive. Duracell Quantum are my choice and let me tell you, they lived up to all the hype!!

Be prepared for ANYTHING!
Ok, so I'll be honest, there were a few moments where our perfect rustic backyard night out was slightly interrupted by some unexpected rain. But you know what? That's ok, because when you're a host, you're prepared for anything that could be thrown at you.

So to mitigate the unexpected, here's a few things I keep at the ready:

• Umbrellas - Phew! Thank goodness I actually had these on hand. I went to the dollar store and grabbed a bunch of umbrellas to have on hand just in case the forecasted rain came our way. Good thing I did!
• Flashlights - I don't want to name names, but there may have been a mom in our group that tripped and fell on her way home a few months ago because she didn't see a kids toy that was lying on the sidewalk [it was me]. Since then, we have always had flashlights for our walks home - it just makes sense.
• Bug Zapper - Not the most attractive item to have at a party, I know, but neither are bug bites:)  And in all honesty, once the rain subsided and we ventured back out to the backyard the mosquitos were something fierce. We could not have been more happy to have had that bug zapper on hand.
• Extra Batteries - It is so important to not just have battery-powered lighting at our fingertips (like those flameless candles and lantern), but having extra batteries on hand. Specifically, Duracell Quantum batteries helped us power more summer (#powermoresummer) during our mom's night out in my backyard. They're built to last and let me tell you, they absolutely live up to that hype! 
• Cooler with Ice - If you're going to be hosting a rustic backyard party, you're going to have to include a cooler. I attempted to make it fit with my decor and appear more rustic-looking with some sunflowers and my bug zapper on there but, let's face it, it's a cooler full of ice and it's doing it's job. Enough said:) 

My friends, let's not allow summer to slip away quietly! Let's take it for all we can get from it!! 

Now that you are armed with MY tips and tricks for hosting the perfect rustic-themed night out with your best girlfriends, Duracell Quantum batteries wants to equip you to do the same. 

To do that, they're giving away everything I used to make my night out in my backyard a smashing success, including:

• Duracell Quantum batteries [only the best for you!]
• Coleman lantern
• Coleman flashlight
• Flameless candles
• Bug zapper

This amazing prize pack care of Duracell Quantum can be yours by simply entering below! 

I know you will be as obsessed with the lasting power of Duracell as I am and hopefully a bit inspired to invite over some neighbourhood friends & power more summer (#powermoresummer) in your own backyard!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by Duracell Quantum batteries, as part of the #powermoresummer program. In exchange for this review, I have received special perks in the form of products and/or compensation. All opinions on this blog are my own.

Preparing for the First Day of School [With Checklist!]

Can you feel it?

Yes, I know we are in the throes of summer and a little blinded by the bright sunlight and warm temperatures (I swear the sun is frying my brain) but school is just around the corner.

If you're like me, then you have spent the summer carting your kids to day camps, working feverishly during the day and trying to squeeze every last minute of family time that I can get during the weekends. I always long for just a bit more time out in the sun, out on the water, or lazing around reading a book while the boys play [though truthfully this doesn't happen as much as I would like!].

But school will be upon us before we know it and because I work I find that starting my back to school preparations early makes all the difference in transitioning back to our daily school routine as smoothly as possible. I try to break up my shopping list into bite-sized pieces (or into stores) so I can get the biggest bang for my buck all in one shot! You'll find what works best for you, but heed my advice won't you? Download my checklist [find it at the end of this post] and start shopping now!

Oh, and a pro tip from someone who knows? REMEMBER WHERE YOU KEEP EVERYTHING YOU PURCHASE! Because I know how much it sucks to search for lined paper and pencil cases that you know you've purchased when you're also preparing for a big meeting the next morning [not that I have ANY experience in that...ahem].

ONE: Make a 'Back to School' supplies list

I cannot stress how important it is to make a list and check it twice (or three times even!). You can use my checklist at the end of this post, or one supplied by your school, but it will never hurt to invest in the standards:

• 250 sheets lined paper (with holes)
• one package blank, white paper
• 2-3 three ring binders
• 2-3 coloured duotangs
• one package crayons
• one package pencil crayons (pre-sharpened)
• 10 pencils
• pencil sharpener
• 5 erasers
• 2-3 pens (blue)
• 1 pencil case
• 1 ruler
• 1 calculator
• Water bottle 
• Zip top bags (freezer sized)
• Tissues

And if your child does not have a uniform to wear, this is the time to invest in clothing as well [don't go crazy - shop their own closet before buying anything new!] including at least:

• 5-6 pairs of jeans
• 8 short sleeved tops
• 8 long sleeved tops
• 5-6 pairs of shorts
• 8 pairs new underwear
• 8 pairs new socks
• 2-3 hooded sweatshirts

TWO: Double up!

All those school supplies you were purchasing? I want you to buy double of everything. Yup, you read that right. One item for school, one item for home. Why? How many times did you have to sign your child's agenda with a stray pencil crayon or a sharpie? How often was your child on the hunt for paper or a sharpener or something that they needed in order to get their homework done that you just didn't have at home? Save yourself the hassle and while you're already out shopping for school supplies, purchase extra of every single one! [pro tip: buy an extra backpack as well! It will save you the hassle of trying to scrounge for another bag or MacGuyver a zipper that has suddenly broken out of the blue!]

THREE: Buy a sturdy, durable backpack

I'm not saying that you need to break the bank [seriously, I get all my backpacks at Walmart!], but I do think it's important to pay a little bit more to get a backpack that is going to last. As a former teacher, I can tell you first hand that backpacks get thrown, tossed, stomped and destroyed in the blink of an eye. Get one that has extra support around the straps and at the bottom. Extra bonus if it is reinforced on the bottom and has a special place for a water bottle! [and if I were you, I would buy an additional "cheap" backpack for home just in case your kid is like mine and manages to break their durable backpack mere months after school begins!]

FOUR: Don't forget printer ink

If your children are old enough to do projects at home, printer ink is a must. And I PROMISE that you will only run out of printer ink when you are trying to print out a project due the next morning while you're answering work emails and struggling to slap together lunches. Have extras sitting in your desk drawer for those moments that the ink runs out halfway through a printing project.

FIVE: Buy a lunch bag that fits food AND in their backpack

I have made this mistake and I want to save you from it! Many schools (and families) are adopting a litter-less lunch policy, which means you are going to have a whole lot of reusable containers in your home and stuffed into your child's lunch bag. There are tons of great products out on the market right now that help us busy parents with attaining a litter-less lunch BUT [this is a big BUT] you need to be sure that whatever you choose is big enough to fit all the food your child will need to eat during the day AND will not take all the space in their backpack. I made the mistake last year of purchasing a really popular litter-less lunch container that ended up being not nearly large enough for my kids food & barely allowed him to do up the zipper on his backpack. It was $80 (per kid!) that I could have saved myself and a whole lot of hassle that I just didn't need at the beginning of a school year!

SIX: Don't break the bank on shoes

This is straight-up based on my personal experience: don't spring for expensive shoes. Unless your child requires a very specific type of foot support, buy decent running shoes that are sturdy and fit their feet. Why? Well, especially if your children are like mine, running shoes get ruined. They could be high end Nike shoes or $20 Target shoes - they're going to be ruined. Your kids are running and jumping and scuffing and playing. They're bouncing and chasing and being straight up hooligans in those shoes all the live-long day! And, even more, their feet are growing. Both my boys were in new shoes by December last year simply because their feet had grown. By the end of the school year, my kindergarten boy's feet had grown 4 sizes!!!! 
And here's a tip from a mom of boys who lose things a lot: buy 2 extra pairs of running shoes to keep at home. Why? It's enviable that you are going to have shoes go missing...better to be prepared with too many extras than try to find a pair of shoes that may or may not fit your kid while rushing out the door to school!

SEVEN: Start your "Back to School" routine NOW!

Summer is all about ice cream at 8pm and lazy mornings where no one changes out of pjs until 11am (if at all!), but i'm going to [gently] encourage you to slowly start getting back into a school year routine. I know, I know, but it is the absolute best thing you can do for both your littles and yourself. Start getting up around school time. Start going to bed at your regular school year bedtime. Get them used to eating at "normal" intervals (especially if your kids are like mine and like to snack all day long!). It's going to a pain in your butt but it will make the transition back to school so much easier on all of you!! I promise!

EIGHT: Prepare for the emotional impact

Back to school is pretty overwhelming. There's so much to purchase and prepare for in advance - but it can also be emotionally overwhelming. Regardless of how long your kids have gone to school (or if they have never gone before), starting a new school year with a new teacher, new kids in their class, and new expectations is scary. Some kids thrive and some kids crumble (I have one of each so I've experienced both). Spend some time really diving into the beauty of a new school year with your kids. Talk to them about what they're afraid of and come up with a plan to deal with their nerves. Encourage them!

You've got this mama! School is an exciting and scary time for everyone in the family, but being prepared and organized will not only help YOU as your wade toward a new school year, but it will help your school-aged kids feel more confident and prepared as they walk through their new classroom doors!

And, hey, just to make it a bit easier for you, I've created a downloadable + printable checklist. Click on the picture below and it's yours!

The Truth About Maternity Leave

Bless your heart Meghann Foye, because I actually quite like the idea of a "Meternity". 

You know exactly what I'm talking about right? 

It's a revolutionary idea that women who don't have kids should be granted the same amount of "time off" as women who take maternity leave. They, of course, will use that maternity time to really reflect on who they are, where they're going, and where they want  & need to be. 

Sounds a-freaking-mazing! 

In fact, it sounds like something we all should have. We live in a world where we are defined by our gender, our jobs, and our marital status -  uninterrupted time to ascertain if we are truly happy with the way we are steering our life would most likely make a huge difference in our happiness and our choices as we navigate our late 30s and beyond. It's a fantastic idea.

Comparing it to a maternity leave, though, is where you lost me. 

Now I know, I know that, really and truly, your main objective with all these ideas is to push your fictional novel (aptly called Meternity) and may not even mean a word of what you have said. 

And yet. 

The idea of a "meternity" has kinda taken off, whether Meghann meant it to or not.

Here's the thing. I know how hard most women work and how much they deserve a break. 
I absolutely believe that non-parents end up doing the crap at work that the parents couldn't or wouldn't do because they had to leave to do a daycare or after school drop-off or pick-up. They are forced to field after-hours calls from an annoying client because the other members of their work team are at home with their kids. Even weekends are probably delegated to the one without kids. 

Believe me. I know they get the crap end of the stick when it comes to work.

I absolutely know that you, Meghann, mean well as a writer, basing the following solely on your own personal experience or what you imagine maternity leave to be. As you said:

[T]he more I came to believe in the value of a “meternity” leave — which is, to me, a sabbatical-like break that allows women and, to a lesser degree, men to shift their focus to the part of their lives that doesn’t revolve around their jobs. 

For women who follow a “traditional” path, this pause often naturally comes in your late 20s or early 30s, when a wedding, pregnancy and babies means that your personal life takes center stage. But for those who end up on the “other” path, that socially mandated time and space for self-reflection may never come.... 

It seemed that parenthood was the only path that provided a modicum of flexibility. There’s something about saying “I need to go pick up my child” as a reason to leave the office on time that has far more gravitas than, say, “My best friend just got ghosted by her OkCupid date and needs a margarita” — but both sides are valid.

But I think it's important to be crystal clear about what maternity leave really is and is not for new mothers. 

There is such a misconception about life post-baby and what maternity leave is and is not - and I'll be the first to admit that I had crazy misconceptions too! I was going to write a novel on maternity leave! I was going to have a house that sparked and shone! I was going to build a retaining wall around my garden! [oh how I laugh at pre-maternity leave Sarah].

So let's straighten a few things out.

Maternity leave is not restful
I did watch a lot of television - in fact I watched tv day and night for the first 3 or 4 months. It sounds better than it was because I was glued to my couch with a baby who wouldn't sleep unless he was in my arms. I had a house that looked ravaged by a tornado or some savage beast. I couldn't grocery shop, I couldn't clean and I couldn't shower. It might sound great when your new mom, on maternity leave friends talk about all the Netflix they watched, but believe me, I cannot remember a single fun thing about it. I was a blurry-eyed emotional beast who couldn't string together a full sentence let along feel "rested".

Your post-birth body betrays you & consumes you during maternity leave
I gave birth to my first son and was home within 24 hours. I was bleeding from childbirth (and wearing full out Depends plus an industrial-sized pad to deal with it). My feet had swollen so much that I could not walk. My breasts were so sore and engorged that they did not fit into a single bra I owned and I could not even touch them without screaming in pain. I had less than 3 hours of broken sleep dealing with a baby who wouldn't latch, a lack of milk production, and just plain old new baby crying. I couldn't eat because I was still throwing up (it seems my body didn't get the memo that the baby was out and the all day barfing could stop now) and I couldn't seem to hold my pee in when I sneezed, coughed or even moved. I had stitches, nausea, and swelling - and a new baby that needed every single thing from me even though I had absolutely nothing in me to give.

You'll never feel as lonely as you do on maternity leave
I was the first of all my friends to have a child. I want to say that my friends were there for me, the way they would have been if I'd been ghosted by an OKCupid date. But the truth is that they weren't. They wanted pre-baby Sarah - the one who was up for a good time and ready to listen to their problems - not post-baby Sarah - the one who was bleary eyed, exhausted and could only focus on that little life that had grown inside her. My friends didn't get me (much like Meghann doesn't get her parent friends I assume). They didn't understand that someone once so focused on her career now worried about the poops and cries of a little redheaded baby boy. Within weeks of giving birth the majority of my well meaning friends stopped calling and texting & they honestly didn't come back until they too were on a maternity leave and understood what I had been going through. Losing those friends and the loneliness that came with it was just as painful as childbirth, I kid you not!

You'll never question yourself & your ability to perform simple tasks as much as you will while on maternity leave
Let me paint a picture: formerly capable Sarah, the one who fixed all the problems at work and did stacks of paper work for others simply because she could do it faster and with fewer errors than anyone else, tried to open a jar of pickles while on maternity leave. But the jar lid wouldn't budge, no matter what formerly capable Sarah did. And that new baby she had was screaming and crying at an alarming volume. So maternity leave Sarah, in the midst of a fully blown panic about opening those pickles, did what any sane person would do. She smashed that jar of pickles into smithereens, watching pickle juice fly.
Sounds like the logical thing to do right?
Post-baby, my formerly smart brain couldn't figure out how to do the simplest of tasks. I would bawl in frustration, I would lay on the floor exhausted from the stress of trying to do easy things. Part hormones, part exhaustion, part whatever - there was nothing that I could do correctly and no decision that I could make that came easily. I did not finish my maternity leave with any feeling of clarity, as you would assume in a "meternity" scenario.  Instead, I went back to work more confused and (to be frank) dumber than ever.

Your work life will change post-materinity leave (and not in the way you're thinking)
I felt the distane of my co-workers every time I got a call from daycare that my son was sick and I had to pick him up. I saw the glares of my bosses as I slinked into meetings a few minutes late because we had a delayed drop-off that morning. I had a boss mention that I needed to lose the baby weight faster than I was (edited to add: I was working in television at that time) and that no one would take me seriously if I kept putting my baby in front of my job. I can tell you, without question, that I lost out on promotions and opportunities that pre-baby Sarah would have had handed to her on a silver platter. In fact, I would say that in many ways taking my full [one year] of maternity leave spelled the end of a career I had worked my butt off for. 

Listen, I get it because I was a working woman trying her darndest to make it in the world and feeling so overwhelmed by my career that I couldn't see past it. I would have killed for a "meternity" leave [in fact I still would!]. I think the idea of time for introspection, true thought, and silence could make all the difference for any of us that feel overwhelmed in life. 

But I promise you, I pinky swear, that maternity leave is simply not that time. Neither is post-maternity leave work. There is no break, no room for rest or relaxation, no introspective time on maternity leave. Rather, there is a screaming baby dictator, a torturous lack of sleep and non-baby human contact, and a ridiculous amount of poop, pee and vomit. 

Meternity leave? Sign me up! 
But let's be honest, maternity leave? I'm happy those days are far behind.

Is Content King or An Afterthought?

Back when I started blogging (ahem...2009...feels like forever ago!) content was king. It was the only thing that drew people to your blog. Even though blogging was not as popular as it is today, the market was still there and quite saturated with similar voices and similar experiences. So, as is reasonable, your blog content mattered more than anything. 

I know I am speaking for many other bloggers from that time period when I say that we were all spending hours on the WORDS we wrote. We would write and write and write and edit and edit and edit. The work we put out was personal, built community and was often pretty darn good! Personally, I would write for hours before I felt happy with a post. I would pour my heart out on the page and let it just lay out for people to read. It was probably why people commented and shared and felt connected to me even if they had never met me before.

Content was king. 

Midweek Confessions

I'm back with midweek confessions!

• I must admit that this week I have been beyond irritated with human beings in general, but I've been particularly annoyed with a group of (I'm sure very sweet and well meaning) teenage girls who were going on and on at the nail salon about how hard their life is because they have exams. EXAMS. That's what was sooooo awful about their lives. Before you get all sanctimonious on me, YES, I am sure I thought the same when I was that age. I'm sure I complained obnoxiously about exams. But I'm sitting over here in my 30s with a husband and two kids and a job, trying to get my nails done and juggle it all and {often} doing a crappy job, so hearing them complain about EXAMS in HIGH SCHOOL had me all like