The Red-Headed Litigator

I am convinced that Z will become a lawyer when he grows up. Or a union boss. I cannot think of a career that would suit his personality more. The personality that has been driving me up.the.wall.

From the moment Z was born, he had a strong personality. Even the nurses in the hospital said something to the effect of "good luck" as my tiny red-head screamed so loudly and for so long that everyone gave up trying to calm him down. He wants what he wants, when he wants it, right now. NOW. DON'T MAKE ME WAIT OR YOU WILL SUFFER MY WRATH.

This, my friends, has caused head-butting to reach an all time high at my house. He, the red-headed litigator, does not accept substitutes or redirection or alternatives. He does not respond to time-outs (unless they are long and in his room. alone.) or threats or the disposal of toys/games/books. He will not budge.

The biggest sticking points recently have been milk. And diaper changes. And any food I place in front of him. And tv. He will stand his ground until he breaks you down. There is no stopping this kid.

Let me give you an example.
He wants milk to drink- not water, not juice. Milk. MIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLKKKKKKK. And should you dare to place water in front of him he will throw and kick and scream and cry and attempt the most SuperNanny fit you have seen outside of tv. And, if you're his mom, you will ignore him. Which will make our little litigator more angry. And then he will try to bargain and debate and cajole and convince. And, if you're his mom, you will ignore and stand your ground. Which will make the red-headed wonder whine and whine and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask. He'll go for hours. He doesn't need a break. He doesn't care if he's annoying. He wants milk and he will get it. And, if you're his mother, (who has stood strong for nearly 4 hours at this point- 4 relentless hours) you will give in at some point because he might have all day to fight with you, but you don't have the same luxury of time. And that fireball will sit, smugly, and sip his milk and kiss his cup like he has never tasted anything more beautiful in his life. And he will say something like, "see, that wasn't hard, was it mommy?". And you will cringe, knowing that he  has won yet another case.

Here he is, angry at me for trying to take his picture with my phone. Of course.

I will fully admit that I get tired of fighting and arguing and debating. I get tired of convincing him that he is not the boss. I get tired of standing my ground. This parenting thing is not for the faint of heart, believe me. I keep reminding myself how important it is for him to hear the words NO and for them to have some traction. For there not to be emptiness in my threats. But I am fully convinced that he is completely unable to hear the word NO. Thereby making all my "ground standing" fruitless.

So, my little Solicitor and I will continue to battle it out in the court of 2.5 year old logic. And I will remind myself that all this arguing will only help him to become the most kick-butt lawyer that Canada has ever seen.

Two is awesome.

The age two that is. Dripping in sarcasm. Covered in doubt.

Z is 27 months and, this week it seems, has discovered:
*the word NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (yes, yelled exactly like that)
*flailing on the ground, pounding his fists and thumping his legs
*running away from his mother
*throwing things at FACES (good aim too, not that I'm bragging)
*moving off the (really expensive) time-out bench (which is not meant to be for time outs but has somehow become "the spot")...he used to believe he was glued to it, I think
*attacking his baby brother to get my attention

This is just a short list of the ways my darling redhead has become a devious monster. Yes, he's two. Yes, this is expected. Yes, (in the wise words of my aunt Scarlett) it's not called the terrible twos for nothing.

But, no, I'm not ok with this behaviour. In fact, far from it. Ever see a kid at the store and think "he needs a good spanking"??? THAT'S MY KID! He actually had me in tears yesterday after I spent the morning putting him in and out of time out, taking away anything fun, and finally clearing his room of every exciting thing (including his beloved books) so that he could do nothing when he was in there. I have never felt like such a mean person in my entire life.

And you know what, IT DID NOTHING!!!!! All of that and he still spent the rest of the day acting out and being a regular...well, you can fill in the blanks.

There were moments of fun and goodness- moments when we did crafts together and sang songs and he worked on shaking his butt (he sooooooo cannot do it and it's hilarious to watch him try!!), but in all honesty the whole day just felt like a complete write-off in terms of good parenting.

The main issue seems to be when W, his 8 week old brother, is awake or needs my attention. It appears that it took this long for Z to understand that W is staying here...and Z is none too happy about having to suddenly share all the exciting attention he was used to.

Oh two, how awesome of an age you are. How I long for the days when this was as much attitude as I got...



Best part of the day?

When W woke up in the morning and had a long "chat" with me, full of smiles. He must have had really important things to tell me at 7am:)