Live Blogging The 2014 Grammy Awards

It's Grammy time!

In 2012, I live blogged The Grammy Awards.

To recap 2012's adventures: LL Cool J was the host (ugh). Some people won awards. I was convinced that Fergie was going to divorce Josh based solely on her dress choice.

Here's hoping 2014 is a bit better… LL Cool J is hosting again. Macklemore deserves to win everything (in my humble, Britney Spears-loving opinion), and the dresses this year are STUNNING!

Rita Ora and Taylor Swift are killing it in the dress department. Katy Perry looks oddly ethereal even though I don't like her dress at all. Pink is beyond beautiful and so confident in that red dress. To be fair, even the worst dressed on the carpet (Madonna) looks better than I tonight:

I'm rocking an Ohio State hoodie and day old crunchy hair with no make-up.
 Limit your pictures and compliments, ok? My ego doesn't need it.

And here we go:

Oh Queen Bey. I worship you. Seriously. WORSHIP this woman. She looks unbelievable- if only my body looked better post-baby than pre!

Did they just censor B? What lyrics am I missing?

LOSING MY MIND. JAY & BEY. There is nothing better. As if every mom sitting at home watching the Grammy's isn't practicing her "surfboard" move now. Thanks B.

And now, my favourite host EVER, LL Cool J.

Hey Taylor Swift. I'm sure we will be seeing you all.the.time.all.night.long. 

I'm really confused about how Daft Punk breathes. And there's two of them. REally? Because I was sure Daft Punk was one guy. Hm.

Listen, I love Pharrell but that hat. That hat.

Best New Artist: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis So, so deserved. Kacey Musgraves giving major stank face. I should be fair though, and admit that my face looks like that all.the.time. so I'll cut her some slack on that.

Lorde performs. So hopeful she can be more than just "Royals".

We're back from a commercial break with Hunter Hayes. My sister adores him. I have no idea who he is.

Best Pop Duo/Group: "Get Lucky" Daft Punk BLURRED LINES WAS ROBBED. ROBBED!!!!!!

I am so creeped out by these Daft Punk guys. They could be anyone. How did they get past security? I am spending too much energy thinking about this!

And now, here comes the performance I have been waiting for - Katy Perry & Juicy J. 

This seem creepy but the dancing going on during this "Dark Horse" performance is EXACTLY how I choreograph this song in my head (or room, while raging all on my own). The performance (and Katy's singing) is disappointing but I'll let it slide. Love this song.

And, another performance. Robin Thicke and Chicago. Weird, weird, weird pairing. You all find Robin Thicke super creepy right? It's not just me? My skin actually crawls when I see him perform or (MUCH WORSE) being interviewed.

YAWN- much too early for this show to get boring but Keith Urban is bringing the snoooooooooooooooooooze.  I'm taking a bathroom break, and getting a snack, and texting my sister, and this performance is STILL GOING ON!

OK, I get that everything is all #hashtag #socialmedia but do we really need to have a #backstage #socialmedia #reporter who doesn't really have anything to #report? #I #think #not.

And we're back, with ANOTHER performance that is low-key and melodic and has very little entertainment value. That being said, I ADORE Jon Legand. He's the real deal. And his wife is hysterical on twitter (@chrissyteigen).

Best Rock Song (YES, we finally got to another award): "Cut Me Some Slack" Dave Grohl and Paul McCartney 

Hurray, another performer. Taylor Swift is about to take the stage. Did you know she's good friends with LL Cool J? (he wants us to know that). Taylor is doing this crazily uncomfortable thrashing around at the piano. This performance is just missing the glitz, glamour, magic that the Grammy's should have.

And….another bathroom break. You've got about 5 minutes to catch up. This show has got to get better, right?

In no way am I knocking this Pink performance, but we have seen it before right? The whole hanging from the ceiling and doing Cirque-esque moves. She's done this at an award show…tell me I'm not crazy…

Hey- another award! (BTW, my sister is so in love with Ariana Grande!)

Best Pop Solo: "Royals" Lorde There's a real goth vibe going on at the Grammy's this year which I'm not loving but Lorde is lovely and so young and so talented. I really hope she hasn't peaked too soon with this song!

*I feel like everyone should know that there's a live Bachelor wedding going on right now that I am absolutely not watching*

Now, we will pay homage to some of the greats. And, while I am not meaning to be irreverent in any way, this is generally the most snooze-worthy part of the evening. Long and drawn out. 

Here's Jamie Foxx to present an award (yes, we may make it to 6 awards tonight!). While pregnant with my first kid, "Blame it on the Alcohol" was my JAM! But seriously, Jamie Foxx needs to stop talking and just present the award. 

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: "Holy Grail" Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake. Jay-Z, I love you. I LOVE YOU! Baby Blue has a gold sippy cup. Man, way to make all the mom's in hoodies melt!

#DefJamForever (then lick your lips)

Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons. This performance. THEY ARE KILLING IT! Kenrick Lamar is amazing. Reminds me of when Jay Z & Linkin Park were collaborating. BUT TAYLOR SIT DOWN!

How awful for Kacey Musgraves to have to follow that AMAZING performance. I mean, I'm sure this would be a lovely performance (although slightly off-key) had it not had to follow THAT LAST ONE!  Thank you Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons for saving the Grammy's tonight.

FYI- there's another hour. ANOTHER HOUR. Just drop the mic and walk away Grammy Awards! Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar just owned the night (I'll stop now but really!). 

Wow. Who knew Julia Roberts was here? Not me. She must be stomping really, really hard for her new movie. #promo. She's introducing Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. I am very sad to report that I don't know a single word to this song (and neither does the audience it appears but Yoko is getting down!).

Oh man, I just love Gloria Estefan. Really, really, really. "Come on shake your body baby do that conga"

Best Pop Vocal Album: "Unorthodox Jukebox" Bruno Mars He deserves this. Really, this guy is a master songwriter and a fantastic singer. Love that he dedicated it to his mom.

PHEW- so glad that #socialmedia reporter is back! I mean, we needed that am I right? (Blake Shelton was looking fine as always though!)

And for your listening pleasure, the BEST cover of "Royals" from Walk Off The Earth. Go listen now (even skip part of the Grammy's if you have to, it's worth it): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgD5p1XiVT0&app=desktop

Oh, looks like a leather tuxedo. Fitting to introduce the country portion of the program (also known as "oldest men we could find and get on stage"). Although, the audience seems to be raging to "Okie from Muskokie" (highly doubt I spelled that right)

AHHH. Kacey Musgraves just won something (I'm guessing for Country Album?) but I was busy folding laundry and not listening.

But wait, here's Neil Patrick Harris to introduce Daft Punk, Pharell and Stevie Wonder. I'm hoping this is impressive… but sadly this is just BRUTAL. BRUTAL. Also, Katy Perry shouldn't dance, me thinks.

We're back with a new performance. Carole King and Sara Bareilles. Sara's song "Brave" was released before Katy Perry's "Roar" and they sound suspiciously similar…I find it interesting how much attention "Brave" suddenly started getting (it was barely played pre-Roar, for what it's worth) once Katy started denying that she had ripped off Sara Bareilles. Feels like the Grammy's are trying to make up for Sara getting obviously ripped off.

Song of the Year: "Royals" Lorde. Thank God Sara Bareilles didn't have to announce Katy Perry's "Roar" as single of the year! The hair pulling and name calling that may have ensued!

Commercial time. Since when was Katy Perry a Cover Girl? Also, the Egg McMuffin is 290 calories. WHAAAAAAA?

Here's Metallica. There's a pretty good chance I'm going to stop watching the Grammy's soon. I just can't take much more of this… although my twitter feed is going crazy over this song.

sadly, the rest of my Grammy night thoughts failed to save. Maybe that's a good thing because, despite my love for the meaning behind the Macklemore/Madonna performance, Madonna was really off-key, Macklemore wasn't as energetic as I would have hoped and, well, it was just LATE. Dear Grammy organizers- please, please schedule the strong, meaningful performances for the BEGINNING of the show when your audience is still captive and interested!!!

Thanks so much to those who followed along. I think it's safe to say that Taylor Swift, Rita Ora, Ciara and Pink were best dressed. Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar stole the show (despite what my dad thinks!), and the #socialmedia host was an epic fail. #mwah