I usually love Twitter peeps- they share awesome information and I can get an answer in a nano-second. HOWEVER, I started a slight firestorm recently and it has snowballed from there...so, without further ado, here's why Twitter thinks I'm a bad mom:
- I am #sleeptraining. I actually have sleep trained both my kids. I do a "sarah version" of sleep training- I'm not following a book or a prescribed plan, just a modified method of "GO TO SLEEP BECAUSE I'M TIRED". I have never been tweeted so many articles about how crying it out is harmful to kids and how I am ruining my baby for life. For the record, while there is some (very mad) crying involved, I'm not "crying it out" and I'm not ruining my baby.
- I #bottlefeed. I probably don't need to expand on why I'm awful for this one, but I will anyway. Nursing is best. I agree. But if you don't have the milk to feed your babes, then you bottle feed. Because I'd rather have my baby FED formula then STARVE.
- I once tweeted that I was buying #formula and #babyfood. Oh, the humanity! Listen, I make about 90% of W's food (and 100% of Z's food) but I have a few jars of apple sauce and prunes on hand, just in case. Sue me.
- I (jokingly) tweeted that I love to use TV to entertain the 6 month old. #tvbabysitter. Arg. I was joking people. BUT, even if I wasn't, I'm pretty sure that it didn't warrant being asked "why I ever bothered to have kids". Seriously.
- I don't #babywear. My kids get so much love and attention from me, that I can promise you. However, neither of them enjoyed the sling or Ergo. W didn't mind it for the first two months of his life, but he's since grown very fond of moving on his own and wants the freedom to do so. I love the idea of baby wearing, but my kids just weren't into it.
- (this confession has nothing to do with my kids)- DID YOU KNOW THAT R. KELLY HAS MADE MORE CHAPTERS FOR "TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET"??? This, my friends, is awesome news that really had to be shared!
Edited to add: I'm not trying to be right (as some people eluded to on Twitter today...lol) I'm just trying to explain why I make the choices I make. As I have said SO MANY TIMES- parents should make the RIGHT choices for them and their children. Respect.
Some people are self righteous and need a hobby other then criticizing how people choose to raise their children. You are a great mother and your boys are healthy, smart and beautiful. You are NOT damaging your children by letting them cry. You love and nurture them and anyone who spends ANY amount of time with or talking to you will know that. These women who bash you say it from the comfort of their own home, who knows what REALLY goes on in their life. You have said it before and so many of my friends with kids say it too, each child is different and no book is the right answer for everything. You know your kids and what they need and what works for them, thats what counts. In 25 years W will not be in some therapist office talking about his rejection issues because he cried himself to sleep. You are doing a fantastic job with those boys and those haters on Twitter can shut up!
ReplyDeleteKeep doing what you're doing!
Always a good idea to feed your baby rather than starve them ;). And it's a good thing you "bothered" to have kids or the world wouldn't be graced with the absolutely adorable little boys you created! :)
ReplyDeleteDude! Didn't we have a conversation about what NOT to say on Twitter?!
ReplyDelete- what you feed your kids
- where you shop
- when/how your kids go to sleep
- when/how much TV they watch
Being a parent is hard. Other parents make it harder when they judge. Twitter sucks in so many ways...that is why I favour Facebook, now - people there know better than to voice opinions that differ from mine!
You're a great mom and your kids are awesome. You have to do what works for you and your family. People suck.
I don't do twitter and I guess that's a good thing cause me + conflict = recipe for disaster. None of these confessions horrify me, I actually know moms who do the opposite and while I don't want to be like them and judge, let's just say their 3 year olds are still not sleeping through the night {among other things}.
ReplyDeleteLol. I've gotta agree with Sarahcasm - there are just some topics best avoided on twitter!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to meeting you on Sunday - then I'll know for real if you're a horrible beast of a mother or not (tongue in cheek!! TOTALLY sarcastic!!) :)
Hah! Glad to hear you're not letting your babies starve over there. There are so many arguments for/against nearly every parenting choice - food, sleep, activities, etc. For any positive outcome, you can find a negative. As a parent, you can only do what works best for you and your family. I am a firm believer in the argument that we should consider what is in the best interest of the family as a whole and not prioritize one individual's needs over the rest. But that is just me. When it comes to parenting - to each their own!
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I was sleep trained and formula-fed as a baby, I also watched a fair amount of TV as a child, went to daycare full-time from an early age, ate non-organic/processed foods, and enjoyed fast food often. Although there are some things I do/will do differently with own kids, I think on the whole, I turned out alright - although I may be slightly biased ;)
WAIT, is NO ONE excited about R. Kelly like I am?? This is disappointing!
ReplyDeleteDo you still have your sling & Ergo? If so, would you consider parting with them?
ReplyDeleteErgo is yours (as soon as I find it!)...don't have my slings tho:(
ReplyDeleteI'm testing this embedded comment thingy....bear with me!
DeleteHoly garbage--WHO IS TWEETING YOU? And how is that anyone's business but your own? People are crazy.
ReplyDeleteI am now absolutely certain that today's mothers have gone completely insane, mental, crazy, nuts - whatever you want to call it. Also - does no one have a sense of humour anymore? I think it's clear that you're joking when you comment about the TV babysitting your children. Really people??? I think that time and perspective have shown us that some of the methods our parents used may not have been the best but in trying to improve our own parenting and give our children a better quality of life, we've swung too far in the other direction. I think balance is the key and I think we need to give ourselves and fellow mothers a break. We don't have to be perfect to be great moms and our kids don't expect us to be. We need to stop judging each other and criticizing. If your child is fed, clothed, loved and above all HAPPY then you're doing a great job. Also - note to self...stay away from Twitter! Wow.
ReplyDeleteSleeptraining - check
ReplyDeleteBottlefeeding - check (after a couple of months of guilt-induced breastfeeding)
TV as babysitter - check
Non-babywearing - check
R Kelly - not so much. Sorry!
You should feel lucky that people are responding to your tweets. I send messages out and only hear crickets!
You're right, it is nice when people respond. I'm always annoyed when I don't get any feedback- that's what twitter is for people! (but I'm more annoyed when I don't get feedback I like...heh)
DeleteThanks for your comment on my blog! I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time with judgy mummies. I'm always surprised at how opinionated people are about how others raise their kids. You have to do what works for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteHey new twitter friend. I'm also astonished at how people have such opinions on how other people raise their children. Anywhoo..you are doing what is best for your own baby. I think facebook is WORSE i can't post something with out getting some unsolicited advice.
ReplyDeleteHey, new twitter friend;)
DeleteWell, people on Twitter need to get a life. I'm sorry, but just because it's "less personal" since it's via computer doesn't mean it's less personal feeling. And as a first time mom-to-be (13 weeks to go), I have no idea what I'll be doing or how I'll be doing it, and anyone who tries to tell me I'm doing it all wrong may not be my friend anymore. :) So.... I thank you for you being you and for being honest, and you just keep loving your babies and taking care of them, because we all know you are. Ha, that was the most worked up about stuff like that I've gotten yet. Perhaps the anticipation of people telling me I'm doing it wrong is upsetting me - something I should figure out before it happens, lol.
ReplyDeleteGirl! Thanks for being real... It feels oh so good to a new mom.
ReplyDeleteI'd love some input on your sleep training techniques by the way. I am SO conflicted; and, it has a lot to do with not wanting to be judged by other people - one way or the other.
Thanks for playing!
Will post up soon- Will ended up cutting a tooth and I don't sleep train during teething so....
DeleteSarah I think you rock!
ReplyDeleteDear Twitter this woman is a (pardon the expression) a #kickassmom!
I appreciate you putting yourself "out there" all of the time...
:)
p.s. Who's R. Kelly? (smh)
PSHHHHH! you've been waiting for those new chapters just like me;) Thanks Chris!
Deleteexactly!
Delete@ E "Sleep Solutions" by Ann Douglas is great because it isn't one method, but an overview of child development re: sleep AND an overview of all the major approaches to infant through preschooler sleep (from full time bed-sharing to no-cry to Ferber's CIO.)
ReplyDeletePeople can be mean. So mean. I wish mothers would stop beating each other up over parenting choices and start supporting each other more. We are each doing the best we can, and doing what we think is best for our children/family. Just because it's a different way doesn't mean it's the wrong way. I bet you are a fantastic Mom :)
ReplyDeleteThanks!!!
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