Why the Mom of the Year award is never going to me...

Ah. Mom of the Year I am not.

You know, I think some moms out there really have it together. They really do look good and feel good and make the right decisions all the time (with the help of a chef and personal trainer and team of nannies, I would guess).

I think *most* moms are totally faking it and hoping no one notices their blunders and missteps.

There are many parenting moments that I am less than proud of. Moments that would ensure that I would never be considered mom of the year. Moments that, while real, make me cringe a little when I go to sleep at night.

Case in point?

* Z calls me 'Sarah'. I laugh. So he keeps calling me Sarah, mostly when he's annoyed or wants my attention (imagine a 3 foot tall red head with his hand on his hip yelling SARRRRRAHHHHH with more attitude than I can even muster...).

I continue to laugh although I know I should correct him. It's just.so.cute. (and rude...but cutely rude).

*I sometimes leave W alone in the same room with Z. Usually just for a minute so I can pee. And Z often doesn't touch him...except for that one time where I found him reefing on Z's arm to help him roll. Oops.

*I threaten emptily all the time. And Z calls me on it.

Me: "If you don't get ready your uncle can't come over."

Z: "Fine- let's call him or text him. Where your phone?"

Yup, he's got my number. Except for that one time I actually threw his toy in the garbage like I had threatened. THAT got his attention my friends (but the toy was already broken and the batteries had just died...not that he knew that).

*I call W "Willy". I HAVE TO STOP. I do not want my kid to be saddled with that as a nickname for the rest of his life. Sometimes I call him "Big Willy". EVEN WORSE. Someone stop me.

*I taught Z a poop dance. What was I thinking?? He does it everywhere- especially inappropriate places. It's not cute, like that 'Potty Dance' that used to be on tv. It's ridiculous.

*Z and I speak Spanish to each other. Not bad at all. Except that I don't know Spanish so I make up words by using an accent and adding "eh" to the end of the words so they sound Spanish-ish. Now he's copying me and thinking he's actually speaking another language. Hm.

* I laugh during time-out. He's such a drama king. Z wails and freaks and watches himself doing this in the mirror. The minute the timer goes off, he skips happily toward me, says sorry and continues on his way. It's hilarious to watch.

* I bribe. ALL.THE.TIME. I bribe with TV and cookies and juice boxes and anything else I can think of. I hate bribers. Until I became one.

*Veggies. I don't enforce them every day. Mostly because I don't really enjoy eating them and sometimes I just can't gag them down. Setting them up for future picky eating??

Any of you out there care to share your proudest...ahem...parent moments?